i know what my problem is: clutter.
i am surrounded by it.
i live it.
i am engulfed in it.
it is chaotic.
my therapist said to me once you could tell the state of a person's mental well-being by the amount of clutter and chaos inside their home. i think i actually ascribe to that theory.
is it any wonder i don't wish to drag out my Christmas decorations? i am already being swallowed up by my *stuff*
it is stifling. can't...breathe...can't...focus...can't...procrastinate any longer. i cannot run from it, i cannot hide from it (however if you must know, i can hide behind it).
- i work from my home for our business. the bookkeeping things are all around me, stacked neatly in as an orderly fashion as i can muster, but it is still visible.
- to my left, there is an ugly filing cabinet, atop which sits my printer.
- folders in a wire rack, going up on an angle.
- i cannot turn on a light without knocking things over.
my Christmas cards, filled with anticipation and seeking my pen, sit next to my bills, which i procrastinate about paying or even entering into my quickbooks (because then i'd know how really poor we actually are, and then i'd be forced to reckon with peter after robbing him to pay paul...)
i am an erstwhile flybaby. perhaps i should begin my flying lessons again, but those emails - egads, there are thousands of them. daily. sometimes hourly. minutely?
can i not simply wait in anticipation for the baby Jesus by putting out a simple nativity and lighting a candle?
what's all the fuss?