i know what my problem is: clutter.

i am surrounded by it.
i live it.
i am engulfed in it.
it is chaotic.

my therapist said to me once you could tell the state of a person's mental well-being by the amount of clutter and chaos inside their home. i think i actually ascribe to that theory.

is it any wonder i don't wish to drag out my Christmas decorations? i am already being swallowed up by my *stuff*

it is stifling. can't...breathe...can't...focus...can't...procrastinate any longer. i cannot run from it, i cannot hide from it (however if you must know, i can hide behind it).

  • i work from my home for our business. the bookkeeping things are all around me, stacked neatly in as an orderly fashion as i can muster, but it is still visible.
  • to my left, there is an ugly filing cabinet, atop which sits my printer.
  • folders in a wire rack, going up on an angle.
  • i cannot turn on a light without knocking things over.
  • my Christmas cards, filled with anticipation and seeking my pen, sit next to my bills, which i procrastinate about paying or even entering into my quickbooks (because then i'd know how really poor we actually are, and then i'd be forced to reckon with peter after robbing him to pay paul...)


i am an erstwhile
flybaby. perhaps i should begin my flying lessons again, but those emails - egads, there are thousands of them. daily. sometimes hourly. minutely?

can i not simply wait in anticipation for the baby Jesus by putting out a simple nativity and lighting a candle?

what's all the fuss?


    Null said...

    You know that therapist is right. My house is always reflective of how I am feeling inside. If I feel chaotic inside, my house is chaotic, and vice versa.

    Works wonders to clear the clutter in home and at the same time clear the clutter within.

    Oh and I think a nativity and candle would be enough. :) If it weren't for four children, I might do the same.

    ~m2~ said...

    liesa, i am always working on the "clutter within," it's just i can't seem to get out of my own way at times.

    the bill pile has gone down significantly; not paid, mind you, but inputted into quickbooks and in line to be paid (eventually).


    have listened to Christmas music all day, adagios, and that helps, a little. i just don't have *the spirit* this year. i will keep seeking God's face in the hopes that He can spark me into being the happy Christmas ma i usually am this time of year. i know i cannot do it on my own.

    Julie M. said...

    It's funny that you mention the Flylady site. While checking them out several weeks ago, I found it interesting that they are supposed to help out with clutter, yet they clutter your inbox with emails. After reading how often they email you, I chose to not subscribe. - Julie M.

    ~m2~ said...

    actually julie it's not that bad. i have designated a folder for the emails to go directly into and open them *whenever*. then i block and delete and open something if it catches my eye, like "where's your laundry?" or "15 minute room rescue" and find them to be good reminders.

    however, at this stage i don't need an email. i need a coach with a bullhorn.

    Null said...

    I've had a struggle with the spirit this year too... it seems to be so much more difficult this year.. not sure why.. christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year.. and I'm just not with it for some reason.

    roadharley2 said...

    ok what's up with all this ba humbug stuff?? Sounds like u need to go the mall, sit on a bench and spend a few hours watching the faces of children. If only the cheer and kidness (most of the time anyway) could last a few weeks........Oh and for the tree, its much more fun to let the kids do it and just sit back take pictures and laugh and enjoy :-)

    ~m2~ said...

    maybe if i had a harley davidson motorcycle, i'd be in a bigger Christmas-y mood.


    Kalanna said...

    Hi Martha - know exactly what you are talking about. My house has been like one giant to-do list lately. Finally put my foot down on top of myself a couple nights ago. I'll be blogging it soon. Oh, and I'm starting to breathe again. :)