i think for the first time in years, i am enjoying the 12 days of Christmas - it has taken on proportional meaning to me and i am in no rush to get the tree down. i'd love to see my nativities up for a bit longer, the Christmas candles stay lit for a while, as well. these are admittedly things that i am in a big hurry to put away, so i can reclaim my *clean* house (ha!) not this year. even though i am one of those folks who anticipates the austerity of lent with eagerness, so far this year, i have been content to let Christmas linger.
until i turned on the computer this morning and the second picture that flashed on my home page was a picture of jim cavaziel from the Passion of the Christ, which film i viewed once a week during Lent last year as part of my weekly devotional time. Lent is one of those times when i *allow* God to act on me, in a manner of speaking - i mean, usually when i say to God "please Lord, let me become who You want me to become in You," i (honest admission coming up) follow up with "but please, Lord - don't let it hurt too badly and don't let me suffer too much and don't..." you get the idea - i place conditions around it. during Lent, i suppose it's because my heart has prepared itself to make room for the changes -- and the changes do come and no, they are not pleasant at the time (is any chastising ever?) -- i allow space for it to happen. and usually, something of enormous proportions does and i walk away from it a very different being. who couldn't *wait* for that?
as much as i am enjoying this Christmastime with Jesus, i am already preparing myself for this upcoming Lent. if only it could make haste, ordinary time!!
2 comments:
That sounds like what I say to God ... "make me the person you created me to be and I'm sorry that I'm afraid of how You will do it ... please remove that fear."
:-)
you know what jule? i ask Him for everything but that - to remove the fear i have when He is moving in me. i need to think about that for a bit.
thanks :)
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