...is tomorrow night. reason i post about it now is i am up at 4:00 a.m. (on purpose) to go into work, will get home long enough to check email and then shower and head out. i will most likely post when i get home.i honestly cannot wait until this is over. his memorial cards turned out *okay* - i had his picture and his date of birth/death on them, with the lyrics from mercyme's song "undone" underneath. i thought the clipart the girl from kinkos put on them was cheesy, but i was too exhausted to micromanage her, cop-out, i know. the job got done, people will like them (i hope) and i tried to honor his memory more than anything else. please light a candle tomorrow or say a prayer (if you remember) around any time after dinner...i will need them to get me through.
~*~*~*~
i took my forgotten middle child out to hot topic today to get some scary tee shirts and stickers for his room - i quizzed him about his moral and ethical opinions and felt confident that a couple of creepy tees of bands he likes won't change his heart; i was quite satisfied with his responses.
before today, every time i would go in there, this really pretty lady with a whole bunch of ink always waited on me and i've actually talked about spirituality with her. she said she always just drops her daughter off at ccd and pulls away because people look at her funny and i encouraged her to be herself because God loves her just as she is. anyway, bruce LOVED this girl - he always talked about when he went in there to buy stuff and how beautiful and sweet he thought she was but would never even think of asking her out or anything.
we were leaving after our slipknot purchases when we spotted additional grunge stuff and had to go back to the register. as she was ringing me out, her employee came in for the day; i said to her, "i really hesitate to tell you this, but i feel compelled so i am gonna..." told her about my friend/cook who just died a little over a week ago, how he'd talk about her every time he would see her and how much of a crush he had on her - i said "i am telling you this because you need to know you made a difference in this man's life..." i looked up and she was crying.
i was mortified.
i began to apologize profusely and she said "you have no idea what those words meant for me today, you have no idea - don't be upset, i am just really touched." as this all happened as her co-worker walked in and he overheard our conversation, he asked, "what was bruce's last name?" i told him and he said "he lived with my fiancee's family..." are you KIDDING me?
let's pause and reflect on the smallness of our planet earth.
we chatted for a few minutes more, he commented on how rough bruce's parents were about the whole deal, i told him the truth (gently) on what the m.e. told me about bruce's parents caring, and he said "i hope he didn't die for nothing." i asked if he went to church? no, but.... i said, "if you make it back to church or start seeking a higher level of spirituality as a result of all this happening, seeking answers, consolation, whatever - it wasn't for nothing."
said my good-byes and left, sufficiently freaked out that this sh*t happens to me all the time. ALL THE TIME. these chance encounters and i walk away just wondering if i said the right thing? did the right thing? i am pretty sure in my heart of hearts today, telling pretty tattoo girl about bruce's fondness of her was the right thing to do. as well as telling fiance of daughter of pastor & wife that bruce's parents cared=right thing to do.
it's just mind-blowing about the timing of everything.
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