15 minutes

when i read a blog that presents something a little more *meaty* i tend to print it out so i can scan it at my leisure and give it more time to soak in. such was the case with a post by essy on suffering. i have had it printed but with everything we discussed yesterday on suffering at my study, i thought i'd read it while at the bank drive-thru. drive-thru was busy, so i go inside and take it with me so i can read when i stand in line (i always have something to read with me at all times - anyone else??)

i am reading my heavy stuff on suffering and the man behind me said, "that's a good way to pass the time..." and i looked up and said, "yeah, but this is pretty heavy stuff. not so sure the bank line is the right place to try to digest this..." and left it at that. could have said "do you want this to read on your own? it may interest you?" or something...anything. i could have reprinted it when i got home, but no. i was being selfish and then thought "did i fail you Lord? i could have given that away, but i didn't...did i miss an opportunity provided by You to see how i'd react?"

so it is my turn to proceed, and i overhear my teller say to the gent before me, "Congratulations again!!" and the guy behind me said, "he just won the lottery." wow. how cool for him and asked the teller in a *secretive voice* - was it a...lot?? and she said oh, yeah. a ton. i said well God bless him. i hope he enjoys it and she started lamenting on how unfair it is and i tuned her out because the lady next to me was starting to be mean to the other teller about having to provide her account number when nobody else requires that of her? and she was looking around for all sorts of validation of her meanness. i gave her a wry smile and said nothing.

so here i am in God's Kingdom on earth, aka commerce bank, happy for the big money man, sad for the teller being berated, even more sad for the woman doing the berating and sad even for the teller who was bemoaning her fate at never winning the lottery (it matters not that she never plays...)

out of this typical 15 minute episode of life i gathered not simply that i failed to evangelize, but also that we are given countless opportunities to pray for others and be fully present for them *without their knowledge* - go boldy before the Throne of Grace to seek help not only for ourselves in our time of need, but for them, as well, because they may not even be seeking.

every.
single.
moment.

how will you spend your 15 minutes of time?