rise up or remain quiet?

my friend rhymes with kerouac had a great post about being quiet when you'd rather rise up and defend against the impending tempest.

it got me wondering (as thought-provoking threads tend to do) - how well do we all hold up in a storm? or more pointedly at myself, how well do i hold up under a verbal attack or say, an attack against my character?

i am afraid to report not very well.

while i try really really hard to get all prayerful and give it to God right away, He isn't prompt enough most times to get me through that *moment* and i take it back because apparently, i am more adept at handling my own issues.

yeah, you heard me. much more adept.

so adept, i end up all over the map with excuses and defense of my position, to what end? to prove i am right (in my own mind)? to defend what little honor i may have with the person who is insulting me? what is the point of that? will i gain honor and merit? i think not so much. why can i not reflect on the scripture i provided to kerouac, namely from isaiah 53:7:

Though he was harshly treated, he submitted and opened not his mouth; Like a lamb led to the slaughter or a sheep before the shearers, he was silent and opened not his mouth.

why can i not simply suffer in silence?

or be like therese of lisieux:

...when the fault for a broken vase was wrongly put on her she kissed the ground and promised to be more careful.

more careful? what, are you kidding me? good Lord, i have such a way to go...

when does it get to the point in your spiritual journey that you do not feel the need to defend yourself, your faith, your walk with the Lord? and why do we feel so compelled to do so? if someone is that set against anything you put yourself out there to be, what about it?

and does it really matter in the end?

as per my friend thomas in my sidebar:

The more we love earthly things, reputation, importance, ease, success and pleasures for ourselves, the less we love God.

more of you Lord, less of me.

so be it.