reflections

i have opened the church for the last ten days while monsignor was on a much needed vacation to continue recuperation from his recent bout of illness. save for the two days my husband took for me, that is. a couple of things struck me today during my reflections and my "last day on the job..."

**it has been said the true character of a man is revealed in how he acts when nobody is looking...i am alone in this church, my one true respite. i still bow before the altar as i approach and when i cross in front of the tabernacle. i cross back and forth to light the candles, bowing each time: bow, wow, wow.

some might think all this bowing is excessive, especially because nobody is there to see this - eight bows in about a five minute span of time. no one is here, so who'll know? if i am the type of person i say i am, if i wish to continue to be authentic and genuine, then my reverence for what i am doing and Who I am Doing It For shouldn't change simply because i am alone in the church without being in front of a congregation. He is Who He Says He Is. good enough for me, and my Lord, if He were there manifested in human form, would i not bow down in reverence? i would be splayed out, on my face, actually. it's amazing i get anything done when you think about it like that. i am not alone, truly. i've got God, Jesus, and the communion of saints to hang out with me, looking in, seeing what all the fuss is about.

**being alone with Jesus in the early morning hours is as intimate as one could get other than receiving Him in Holy Communion.

**the water from the baptismal fount sounds like a brook, a fresh stream of living water

**the flame is high and smoke rises from the Paschal candle, reminding me of our prayers rising straight up to heaven, without fail

**people come in and out, quietly stopping for a prayer prior to getting on their way, perhaps only for five minutes. but they come to the quiet to be with Jesus. some you can set your watch by, others enter in, kneel, pray and leave just as quietly as they came in.

**i brought the church's caregiver coffee from dunkin' donuts every morning; today, he reciprocated, to my great delight, by bringing me an egg mcmuffin ~ how sweet is that? my friend, rhymes with kerouac asked in a recent thread of his do you know the church janitor's name?

At our church recently the Pastor opened a preaching class and almost twenty people signed up. I wondered if anyone would show up for a church janitor's class.

i can say i would if i could do the job on the grounds as beautifully as ed does.

**finally, when i look toward the gathering area of the church, the sun is streaming through the stained glass and reflecting off the linoleum - "how beautiful!" i say to ed as he hands me my egg mcmuffin...

what, the scratches on the floor? he replied in his best caretaker voice...
no, the reflection of the stained glass, you silly!
i only see the scratches on the surface...

thank you, God, for seeing our beauty, even through the scratches.

especially when nobody else is looking.