who are we, really, as church?

i have maybe ten minutes to type furiously before i leave for work, but wanted to pose to you a question: who are we, exactly, as *church*?

i woke up a little angry this morning, i admit, so take this with the grain of salt you may need to digest.

last night i received a call from one of the leaders of the prayer group at my church - a call i believe was Divine Providence. remember yesterday's thread about greg? i said "we have a prayer group here..." and never gave him the details because i didn't know how they'd feel if i sent him their way - honestly, what would it matter? should it matter how they *feel*?

in discussing the matter that she called me about, i said just before hung up, "listen, i met this guy at mass yesterday..." and told her basically what i threaded here. she was all "uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh..." and i said "i mentioned the prayer group because he seemed to be really reaching out and it may be good for him to hook in somewhere..."

dead silence.

"...unless you are uncomfortable with that..."
"well, we're just women - you know, they had a lot of break-ins at the rectory over the holidays..."
i said, "which *holidays*? Christmas or Easter?" ~~ blood pressure rising ~~
she said "Christmas..." "
i said "he just moved back into town after being away for 23 years in california like a week ago!" ~~ almost yelling ~~
"i'm not suggesting that it was him..."
"of course you are not (sarcasm filtering in)...i understand you are concerned about your safety and yeah, i don't know him all that well, but i didn't receive anything from his spirit that would indicate he is a thief!"
"we used to have more men in our group, but now it's just ladies..."

i am feeling my stomach flip at this point, i mean, i understand you fear for your safety and all, but then i said,

"doesn't it say in our chuch bulletin that "ALL ARE WELCOME" ? what exactly is that supposed to mean if it says that?"
"well, that's it!! (she's excited now, she's found her *out*) - maybe if he comes to us through our church bulletin, then he'd be okay..."

what, are you flippin' kidding me? because he can read, he'll be okay?

take a moment do a penni pause with me to let it soak in.



unfortunately for greg, but fortunately for my illing husband, i am working today so i won't be at mass to hand him a bulletin personally. i am praying he will be at mass tomorrow so i can do so then. oh, don't think that i won't give him two in case he misplaces one...

am i taking this to sensitively? i know i can be overly-sensitive when i have a *cause* but this, to me, actually resonates of what i knew it would: rejection because he may be a transient.

who are we as church when we reject those God sends to us to minister?

this is actually exactly why i don't belong to this prayer group, because it smacks of the religious spirit that i am fighting so hard against - the religious spirit i think is prevalent in our church family - another reason why i don't wish to serve on the parish council. another reason why i tend to shy away from being within the community altogether... i told my pastor friend yesterday that i feared rejection for this man from this group - and he said "i know what you mean." i had no idea i'd be set up in a conversation about it by the end of the day. surprise, surprise.

who are we, really, as church? is it all just a big facade?

look at me, i'm religious, i go to prayer group, but don't send someone our way that actually needs prayer and doesn't look right or *fit in*

is that what it's all about and nobody told me? aren't we supposed to risk ourselves? put our selves out there to help those in need? see others as higher than we see ourselves? put our ailing brother's needs before our own?

if not, then i belong to the wrong group of spirituality.

/end rant.