ego?

by checking out my bloglines regularly, i sometimes check out other subscribers to the ones i subscribe to and surf that way - i mean, if we *like* the same writers out here, maybe there's "more where that came from?"

so i happened to click my way into a thread hearkening me: are you an intellectuelle?. interesting.

i read further.

Announcing the Intellectuelle contest!

Who: Open to evangelical women who are secretly C.S. Lewis wannabes

What: Submit something (approximately 500 words) you've never blogged or published which demonstrates you're a deep thinker with a strong orthodox Christian faith

When: May 17th-June 16th

Where: Here of course

Why: To be part of a seven-woman team blog called "Intellectuelle"

Update: it will be hosted/sponsored by The Evangelical Outpost !!!

gosh, i like c.s. lewis - he was one of the greatest Christian writers of our time, right? i have a strong orthodox Christian faith! i have been told i evangelize (that is, try to lead others to Christ...) gee, this is interesting and i am now fully intrigued to maybe get to know a bunch of folks i don't already, so i read further and discover a question and answer thing going on by the hopeful participants:

Q: When you say "orthodox Christian faith," should I assume you mean mainstream Protestant?

A: quasi, hmm...I know my description is sketchy, but yeah, I mean Protestants who read the Bible as the inspired infallible Word of God--generally not mainline denominations (at least not in these parts). Reformed is even better, but I'm not going to make it that narrow. The label evangelical used to be more clearcut but it's gotten blurred with all the various movements. I know there are wonderful Catholic writers/bloggers, but I felt it was important that this group of women be united on the tenets of the Reformation (i.e. no mediator between man and God except Christ, the symbolism of the eucharist, etc.). I'm just giving examples; not inviting debate into this post, so if anyone wants to discuss these things, feel free to blog on your own blog or email me.

well, now.

i guess i am feeling free to blog on my own blog at this juncture because it literally felt to me that i had the wind taken out of my puffy sails.

who am i, right? i mean, i am pretty cool when it comes to who i chat about with here, i don't discrminate against you because you are Protestant and would love to have more of the Jewish faith come on by. however, it's not all cozy everywhere else in the blog world, is it?

the door was shut with that statement. she was nice enough to say there are "wonderful Catholic writers/bloggers," (and by no means do i lump myself in with this group of women, either) but then went on to qualify why the door would be closed on those wonderful ladies who don't ascribe to the tenents of the reformation.

*sigh*

i am struggling so much these last few days (since seeing the movie *crash*) with bias and prejudice and i am still reading under the overpass so i am reading with great angst how these young men's encounters with Christians was no less than mortifying. but it's life and we are given choices on how to respond to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, correct?

i would like to think i am disappointed and not desirous of submitting an entry or even reading what this think tank has to say because it's so exclusionary, but is that truthful or is the truth grounded in perhaps a deflated ego?

i am uncertain.

p.s. for the record, i, as a Catholic woman, believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God and am certain that Jesus is the sole mediator between God and man. i do believe *mediator* in this sense is different than the word *intercessor* in the sense of asking someone to pray for you, but i don't want to get off the topic of my feelings being hurt and my ego being bruised, and detract from my rhetorical walk around cyberspace for the day with a scarlet C on my back...

are we really that different?