captain potty mouth, reporting for duty.

i know i talk about the words we speak and how scripture is spot on about them bringing life or death to the hearer.

there is so much in scripture about the letting the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer...questions on whether or not a spring (can) send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? how in the book of james there are numerous references to the tongue, even though it is a little member (of the body) can boast great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!

ouch, my brother james. very ouch.

so what to do?

last night on the way to mass, no less, my daughter was complaining about how hungry she was. apparently, she was starving, the poor dear, because she started to use adjectives to emphasize just how hungry she was.

"i am so flipping hungry."

what did you say?

"i am so flipping hungry, ma, i am starving..."

well, now. that wasn't very lady-like, but i am almost 100% certain she's heard that around the house somewhere. and also know for a fact if she didn't say "flipping," she would have substituted the appropriate word "freaking."

that being said, when mass was over (and was wonderful, too), i turned the radio off in the car because we all know the car is the best place to talk to your children, right? and they started to fidget because when mom turns the radio off, it means something serious is going to be imparted (or she is about the lay the smack-down on someone...)

"we need to change the way we speak," mom announced from the front passenger seat. "what we say should be edifying to the hearer and what i am hearing isn't edifying me and i know i am partly responsible for how you speak. for my responsibility in this, i am sorry."

they all had puzzled looks and nervously looked at each other to determine who should go first. max, my brave little soldier, ventured.

"what brought this on?"

"do you know what a *euphemism* is, guys? it is an inoffensive expression that is substituted for one that is considered offensive. you are taking a bad word and substituting one that is close to it in order to get your point across. you don't need to add the words that aren't pleasant to the hearer (especially when coming from my 12 year-old daughter, tyvm) to get your point across..."

"oh," they said collectively.

and in the spirit of St. Paul, i thought i'd throw in the "...to me, who am less than the least of all the saints," type of language so they would know they wouldn't go it alone.

it went over well (ben, if you are reading this, you know this type of talk, don't you??) at dinner time, it was decided by my sweet sarcastic daughter to question just about every word she said, and max wanted to know if he could still call our hamster alfred his "g," which is short for "gangster." i am uncertain of alfred's criminal past, but i allowed the nickname to stand.

so far, so good. i made it until about 8:30 p.m., almost an hour after dinner, when i went out to watch t.v. and all the "freaking" lights were on in the living room and foyer.

doh!!

sorry Lord, sorry family, i'll do better next time...

we won't mention the word i said this morning when my pants split. that's another story for another time.

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.