i dropped max at work yesterday and was only going to stay for a bite to eat because i had learned the previous day there was a quilt show in the area (!!)for those who are unaware, it may seem as though i am coming out of the closet with this, but here's my admission: i am a quilter. i see things in colors and balance, patterns. just like with writing. i am also the owner of a stitchery business that has been on hiatus for five years called "penni's, from heaven - an inspired needle arts co." wherein i would make baby quilts and designed and created wall hangings or pillows out of the Word. i was a huge hit at craft shows held in churches, no lie :)
but the restaurant came along and i put my stuff on hold and supressed any urge i had to pick up quilting again because i just didn't have the time. i was "all or nothing" and i chose "nothing" and have had a bit of emptiness over that for a while, but i am digressing.
so i try to sit and eat quickly so i can make haste and haul out of there and we were busy. not steady busy, but slammin', we've-not-seen-the-sun-in-nine-days-busy, so i was up more than i was down getting tables cleared so folks could sit.
finally, cold eggs ingested, i made for the door - said good-bye to hub who responded with "i need you back here."
incredulous, my face showed it (trust me on that), i said "why?"
"the catering job is setting us back - can you come back and make two sandwich trays and one wrap tray before you go?"
"you're kidding, right?" (i was dressed not for the kitchen.)
"do i look like i am kidding?"
for the record: i love my husband dearly. with all that i am, he is mine and i am his. however. he can infuriate me faster than any human being on this earth because he knows where the buttons are and how to stab at 'em and he went for it.
incredulous face gone, replaced by "don't-even-look-in-my-direction-if-you-still-wish-to-have-your-head-on-your-neck" face and i stormed my bad self in through the swinging doors.
what about my *me* time? what about that?
nothing was where it was supposed to be; i was totally inconvenienced.
max came in to report "bebe alert" - i said "not now, max." he was shocked at that because i drop everything and go running to greet our newest customers.
i also on the invoice that salads had to be made and when i felt i was on simmer enough to speak, i choked out a question to my hub: "do you need me to make the salads?"
"no. i came in early to do that..." oh. (was that smugness emanating from the hub?) translation: "i was here at 3:30, so there."
i started to lighten up immediately.
"you're on a good roll then, st. lawrence - don't do anything contrary today so your martyrship might be forfeited."
we cracked up.
as quickly as he can infuriate me, he makes me laugh because he gives me great fodder. that, coupled with the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear, "don't you remember when you booked this job that you said to the girl, 'we are very busy on saturdays...i will come in and do this one myself'?" brought me back to earth very quickly.
dang. He got me.
again.
me, me, me, i, i, i.
and you think i am not selfish? i haven't thrown a tantrum like that since bruce passed away. i am totally a team player. but with molly away for the weekend and having a few hours to myself, the last thing i wanted to was be in that restaurant for more than 20 minutes altogether. God had other things in mind, however, to show me that i need to bring myself down a notch and remember where my priorities lay. He got through, loud and clear.
so i finished up and two hours after i arrived (remember, it took me at least an hour+ to get my breakfast choked down), i scooted out the door to freedom -- i was virtually william wallace of the restaurant business.
i got to the show and immediately saw some of my old quilt-guild members - and was quickly admonished after having been asked if i was working on anything and having replied "no..." for not doing so because "you're a wonderful quilter!!!" (if you knew who this comment came from, you would understand why i had to share - she is an amazing quilter. things come from her that you would think were not made by a mere mortal. i was high for the rest of the day).
i looked at the amazing advances in quilting in the five years i had been away from it - the machine quilting on some of these projects was almost more ornate than the quilt top itself - i am a hand-piecer/hand-quilter if i had my choice, but mostly i was very much finish this project so i can move on to the next.
i felt something tugging within me, stirring from being asleep for *long enough* i had to leave. it was almost too much to bear.
i finished my day by going into ocean city to my favorite jewelry store to by my neice her confirmation gift - i am her sponsor tomorrow night - and as i was walking out onto the boardwalk, i noticed the waves. they were huge. clean. took my breath away and gave me a moment to marvel at God and how He can put something so perfect in front of us and we are sometimes so rushed, in such a hurry, that we don't even look up to see it.
once again, i was given a measure of grace that filled me to overflowing and based upon my behavior earlier in the day, i was totally unworthy of receiving it. should i imagine for a moment how much more grace would have been imparted had i done the catering job with a happy heart?
what, and ruin what turned out to be a perfect day, even so?
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