school vent

i had a killer day at work yesterday, which is good of course.

i had no time to get changed for class as i was already running late, so i threw on my hoodie, changed my shoes and got to class.

we are given our essay assignments as homework about two weeks in advance (my last one, define tacky, i received an A on for you inquiring minds :), as well as reading and answering questions in the book Patterns with a Purpose. usually, we break off into groups to answer the prof's questions and one person takes the lead and acts as the facilitator and presents findings to the class.

for the record: when i began this class, i didn't always want to be the facilitator. in fact, i NEVER wanted to be the facilitator because (a) i am a mother, i facilitate plenty at home, (b) i am an employer, i have enough facilitating to do at work, and (c) i just want to be a student/learner, not leader/teacher.

i always end up facilitating because these kids don't do their freakin' homework. what is UP with that?

i hit a wall yesterday. we were reviewing two essays about teens who commit adult crimes and discussing whether they should do adult time. we were to take the posture of "yes, treat them as adults" and base most of our discussion on the second of two essays assigned. nobody read the second essay.

except me. nobody in our class does the work, save for 3 or 4 people --- this is out of a class size of 25. it gets tiring watching our teacher try to pull participation from his students and having the same people, every. single. time., raise their hands.

one of the guys in our group, i'll call him jonathan, is a 26 year-old male who wants to be a teacher. he hasn't fared well on his essays because he misses the point - this is what i gather overhearing what the prof is trying to explain to him when he goes up and questions his grade. so this man, who was once a likeable, enthusiastic "non-traditional student" has reverted back to a petulant, 15-year-old who sits and balks at every assignment given, claims all is "boring, soooo boring," while he rolls his eyes and says "i just have to learn to accept the fact that i am a C student...if i wanted to learn about crap like this [the adult crime issue], i would watch Fox News..." and starts laughing to egg on the other students in our group.

this is what was happening yesterday when we were told to break off. first they were discussing when they actually do their essays (majority ruled, the night before it's due) and the conversation turned to me, mocking me, and one of the girls said "oh yeah - she probably starts hers the night it's assigned."

what, are you kidding me? was i just the butt of a joke because i do my homework or because i take school seriously?

and then jonathan was rolling his eyes, pulling his knit cap over his eyebrows, slumping in his chair, acting sophomoric and i decided that was it.

"you know what? i am really tired of you acting like you don't give a shit."

"what? why are you directing your anger at me?"

"nobody does anything around here and it is always left with me, the ball in my court, because nobody gives a shit."

"you don't need to swear."

(suddenly, mr. i'm 15 again is acting like the parent. nice turn-around...)

i was very close to picking up my marbles and leaving the playground.

"you know what guys? i have a life, too. i probably cram more into the span of one day than most do in a week, but that's not the point. the point is he wants us to focus on the second reading and nobody read it but me so now, especially in light of being the object of your mockery, i now find it exceedingly burdensome to carry your sorry asses any longer."

yeah, i didn't make morning mass. can ya tell?

the girl of the group who was also teasing me because i have stains on my sweatshirt (work hoodie, probably bacon grease that cannot be removed without a blow-torch) decided it prudent to admit she read half of the assignment and did her best to mediate me down off my high horse so we could work the assignment out.

in the end, out of all the groups, ours was the one who did things the way he wanted and jonathan was gallantly motioning over to me saying, "she did alllll the work - don't look to me, i'm the slacker of the bunch..." i told jonathan i was sorry for *losing it* and left there without saying another word to anyone else.

for the record on how i was as a student: i was voted Class Clown and Most School Spirit my senior year of high school. i was always the funny one, always the levity, but i wasn't hated by my teachers or classmates because i also knew when to shut up (comedic timing is everything anyway!) i haven't sat in a classroom for over 20 years and i am paying for this college to educate me. i blows my mind why anyone would accept being a C student when you are paying for your education (speaking of the 26 year-old in my group)?

if you set the bar so low for yourself, how can you be disappointed when you attain it?

*sigh*

/rant over.