In the Beginning was the Word...

...and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

this passage is read at the conclusion of daily Mass where i enjoy going when i can get there, early in the morning. it is the beginning of the Gospel of Saint John.

as i knelt and listened to Father read in his monotone, i was struck by the following:

But to those who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice nor by a man's decision but of God. (emphasis added)

i felt like Jesus leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "this means you, pen. this means you."

oh, it left me breathless. i wanted to focus on the balance of the prayers (which i always liken to the grand finale at the fireworks, there's a whole slew of 'em), but i was literally overtaken with a rush of Holy Spirit goodness, filling me to overflowing -- like a light was turned on that grasped me from the inside and turned me out. i was not born by natural generation.

or by human choice.

or by a man's decision.

but of GOD.

how can you breathe after feeling that and hearing that for the very first time? God chose me. little, insignificant, worrisome, anxiety-ridden me.

He also chose you. we are the chosen ones of God, His holy ones, His people.

i can scarcely breathe.

Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy. Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy. Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy.

Amen

~~St. Augustine of Hippo