denial.

landscape of denial kevin thom ~*~*~*~*~
de·ni·al (d-nl)
n.

An unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings.

~*~*~*~*~

i picked up an extra day this week (at time and a half) and was called in last night from 7:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. at double time. we have some things coming up in the next few weeks that will require more cash outflow, so God has made sure it will be there when we need it. He is just that good ;)

one would think the night shift is a bit slower than days (if you worked on L&D during the dayshift, you would know it is believed that days are waaaay busier than nights. denial, perhaps?) i can assure you, it is not. they have the same amount of patients at night that they do during the day, but with 4 fewer nurses, 3 fewer techs. i cannot tell you how much i ran last night ---> literally. it was physical 110% of the night, comingled with God moments of prayer starting from when i helped wheel a patient from recovery to see her tiny baby in the nicu and hear the nurse explain what his complications are and that "we are watching for signs of withdrawal and he is starting to go through the stiffening...we will let you know if there are any changes throughout the night..."

~sigh~ so tiny. so sad.

i answered a call bell for a lovely patient who had pih - pregnancy induced hypertension - and saw her blood pressure was 187/101 - extremely high - and came to find out she was transferred to a higher risk facility away from us when i was caring for the post-op mom...

i would take another patient upstairs and get nabbed by a maternity nurse to help someone out of bed, change linens, transfer a patient on the computer...they were so very, very short-handed...no sooner did i come downstairs that i would find out there were three more deliveries, carts had to be broken down, cleaned and replenished when my favorite doctor said "penni, open the o.r. - we are going in for a procedure..." i scrubbed in and assisted in something that was fascinating but too graphic to describe here ;) an hour and a half of standing, kneeling, attempting not to contaminate myself.

who knew the night would be like this?

six babies born in six hours -- i looked at the clock to find it was already 1:00 a.m. (are you kidding me?) and although i did not accomplish all i had wanted, i finished up on some restocking of items and stopped and sat at the desk at 1:55 a.m. and ate pizza with the nurses and the tech who came in to relieve me (who worked the day shift that day, they could find nobody else willing to help out...) these ladies are wonderful. the nurse who cared for the pih mom told me of the risks she ran because of her high blood pressure (again, too graphic to describe here) and that part of her problem behind her pressure was the fact that she tested positive for cocaine. the doctor asked her when the last time she used cocaine was and she said "in my teens." (she was 28)

"in your teens?"

"yes."

"your lab results show otherwise...it shows you tested positive this afternoon so it had to be recently that you snorted it..."

"my boyfriend does coke and we just had sex yesteday - could it have transferred through our body fluids?"

(i am incredulous at this point, as i am sure most of you are...)

"uh, no. you had to have snorted it."

"there is always some laying around the house - maybe i inhaled it when i was cleaning up?"

~sigh~

you have got to be kidding me.

denial.

(refusal to accept something on your own accord does not make it any less true.)