changes

how well do you deal with change?

at first, i am all for it: move the furniture around to accommodate the Christmas tree, it gives the room new perspective. move a chair here and couch over there with the side table at a different angle, it is almost close to being in a fresh atmosphere.

sort of like changing your blog name. (what if i changed it back to "martha, martha"? would i lose readership? i find as much as i would like to think i am *not*, i am *still* most worried about many things and find my alter-eg0 suits me...please cast your vote in the com box...)

i usually deal well with change, but then eventually, things get a little bit out of kilter...dust accumulates on the things that are placed out, things begin to look old and all at once, it is an event to put everything back to where it once was and for chaos to be restored --> the tree is put back into its box (no scolding me for the artificial tree imagery, i have a houseful of asthmatics, tyvm...), things are dusted and put away and/or thrown out and the house is *clean* again.

i feel the tremors of imbalance approaching in my (our) future and i am starting to feel out-of-sorts. i know change is coming, and this change is going to be messy.

really, really messy.

there will be no winners, only loss and heartache -- i am thinking eventually (with a friend's opinion backing this up) we will be better for it, but i am not sure i am able to handle things on my own, save for God's help and the 40mg of paxil i have been on for a month now which is helping me, to an extent, fly below the radar and has put my hives at bay -- yep, they were most certainly, we think, stress-related. but the change that is coming? maybe there was good reason to get this med into my bloodstream well in advance of the rumblings and eventual eruption; my structure will be shored and with God's help, i will be able to handle the fall-out of change.

i think.

~sigh~

please, please - send up a prayer for us. thanks.

(as a silly aside, don't forget to vote!)