Silenceacrylics on canvas
53 X 73 cm
Kristen Dorfhuber
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i have no voice.
i won't go into great detail over this latest round of illness, but whatever it is my lymph glands, which never reduced from november, are involved. there must be something with my immune system that someone is missing, but i digress.
oh, i have shades of what should be my voice, what will return as my voice as far as i know. i am reminded of when mom was on a ventilator and had no voice. she communicated by way of dry-erase board. i am not quite *there*, thank you Lord.
i am reminded of how people can communicate via body language, sign language, or facial expressions...through the written word. can you imagine losing your voice for the rest of your life - how would it make you feel, being unable to talk on the telephone...sing with your children?
pray aloud?
sing in the car?
what about those who cannot speak for themselves and have no one to speak for them?
how quiet i feel today, i think it makes me feel contemplative even if i didn't feel so when i first woke up. how would you feel if you had no voice, what would you do to compensate for it?
how would i feel to remain this quiet, always?
6 comments:
I say this via UKOK. I think you will quietly resonate with it.
When I was a child, my mother used to tell me she wished I didn't have a voice. (I talked a lot)
Good grief, woman, if it's not one thing it's another! We've got to get you well and soon.
In the meantime, take it as a sign to go within and use the quiet like a personal retreat.
Your last question has left me a bit uneasy, however. NO voice for life? I simply can't imagine...
I've been hoarse for about ten days with a nasty cold/ uri. In the mornings I sometimes gather with folk at Catholic Worker and we do prayers before feeding the poor, the kind of prayers that are recited as a group. I have to remain silent during these times and go through a host of feelings, from being a rebel to listening to God.
At work I cringe every time the phone answers or a co-worker asks me something. They always ask me to repeat myself.
This too shall pass.
Have you heard of the Ungame?
it was invented by a woman who couldn't talk for a year.
I bought the game about 10 years ago. Amazingly enough, it was a big hit. I got to know my friends really really well.
For when your voice comes back, of course.
cause it will, of course. :o)
For me, silence amplifies who I am. If I have self-pity, silence causes greater pain. If I have joy, silence has me running to watch sunsets.
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