no, i did not

charlies hand
Originally uploaded by timbosmyth

but this actually looks like would have been a typical day in the life of Yours Truly.

[well, there'd be an empty bottle and corkscrew somewhere.]

i got some tough love last night from two friends at my meeting. honestly, it is raw and painful and feeling my emotions and feeling my feelings without numbing them is really, really difficult. i have vented before and am certain i will do so again; however, being in the moment and seeing it through to the other side without any chemical assistance is a whole new thing for me.

nothing to numb the pain. nothing to ease the ill-feelings. i was told it doesn't help anything, but a hangover seemed the lesser of the two evils at the time. this morning, i am grateful to be clear-headed and feeling less wounded.

we read Bill W's story last night. one part that struck me was about his thoughts on God, his take on his new "God-consciousness within." i'll finish with his words:

"I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure."

i am in repair -- i'm not together, but i'm getting there.