up in my head

it would seem to me that yesterday, for the better part of the day, i wasn't feeling "well." it began in my spirit in the morning and was slowly pervasive the balance of the day. talking to a friend on the phone, who probably has no idea how much he means to me, helped significantly.

the remains of my day, i gave to God.

i have heard when you feel like going to meetings, you go. when you don't feel like going, you go to two. i was in that frame of mind on my way to my first meeting and was going to attend my second one at 7pm but i wasn't feeling well (throat) and worked late (6:30) and just wanted to go home and get in my pj's and call it a day.

i am glad i did. i came home to having my new "Recovery Bible" sitting on the table that had arrived via amazon earlier in the day and after dinner, sat and read the Psalms and some of the meditations.

i know this post is all over the place, but i feel as though i am treading water right now. i don't [think i] have the desire to pick up a drink, rather, i have the desire to get well and to stop the noise that crops up in my head every now and again, like it did yesterday. i just want to have quiet, not be at odds, not have *issues*.

yesterday, i tried everything i am learning to quiet the sound - interrupted thoughts, prayer, meditation, call a friend, call your sponsor...to no avail. i did not drink, however. i guess that says something.

i just want it to get a little easier. with 72 days of sobriety, i don't think i am asking for much (right? righttt???)