happy birthday to me :)

Birthday Candle - Paul Hutchinson
as i was talking to a friend last night on the phone, he said i was to say this morning "but for the grace of God, the fellowship of AA and a good pair of knitting needles, i am sober one year today!"

true, that :)
God has truly done for me what i could not do for myself. i can scarcely remember feeling more hope than i have these last few weeks (i know, pretty opposite of what i have posted here, but it's true!!)...one year ago today, i had my last drink, acted out in my most profoundly awful way, and God said to me in my morning thoughts the very next day "You are never to drink again."
if it were true that i was NOT actually an alcoholic, it would have been no big deal to be compliant. after all, our literature actually states to "try and stop abruptly" and to "try it more than once. It won't take long for you to decide, if you are honest about it." (pg. 31-32 of the Big Book). honestly, i never tried it. it was hard enough putting down the drink; even harder to wade through all of my "isms."
i have learned so much in the past year but most importantly, regardless of what has been in my path, i have not found it necessary to pick up a drink.
at all.
so i am one year old today, one year of continuous sobriety. and it feels pretty good :)
[but in actuality, all i really have is today.]

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