can you hear me now?
don't know how many ppl check in on a regular basis, but i am simply exhausted. yesterday was a marathon - max at the doctor's, molly at the doctor's (osgood schlatter's disease, in a knee imobilizer for 10 days, recheck in 10 to determine if she *gave it enough rest* - we are supposed to go to NYC next tuesday, please say extra prayer we can. it is her dream...), home for dinner, taught ccd, took max to e.r. because he couldn't breathe properly. what an experience. he's okay, they sent him home and continues with his regimen the doc prescribed yesterday.
asthma is a scary thing.
so is the emergency room. will definitely blog on that as i took notes while i was there. we got home around 1:00 a.m. (as an aside, the last time i was up that late, if my memory serves, there was some sort of alcohol involved and a man named dave. but i can't be sure. )
am also wondering if i pray for my family on a daily basis, and specifically my children's health - what is the general concensus? should i stop praying so directly? i don't want to say my faith is waivering; however, it is quite discouraging when we review simply the last month alone what my prayers have garnered. more on that later. i am wondering if He is hearing, or should i be thinking differently about all the ailments my children have had over the last say, six weeks?
immaculate conception of Mary
on an up note - read at Mass tonight. had an exquisite cantor sing all the special Marian hymns and a thought occurred to this former Protestant who has struggled so much with Mary up until about a month ago -- the Marian hymns have always been my favorites. always. it was there all along, i just didn't recognize it.
the cantor sang Ave Maria like i have never heard before. truly the biggest lift i had all day.
~peace to all~
7 comments:
I know what you mean about wondering if those prayers are doing any good ... but they ARE! Keep 'em going and I'm praying with you for all of them and for your strength and peace. :-)
Also, there's just something about Mary, isn't there?
I can definitely empathize with Max's asthma. I have had it for over twenty years. Thankfully, I have a dynamite pulmonologist and a super smart respiratory therapist. I will say extra prayers for him.
For quite a while now, I have not been praying specifically *for* things, people, etc. My prayers have been ones of thanks & praise - thanks for all God's blessings (the people in my life, my health, etc) and simple praise. And through contemplative prayer, a good bit of time just being aware of God's presence. I pray this way because I trust that God knows what is best for me and for others; I don't need get him to change the way things are. That works for me, and I'm sure it may not be right for others.
When our kids were younger, they were in & out of the emergency room quite a few times, particularly the younger one. One visit turned into an operation (he was 11 months old) and a year later one visit turned into three days in intensive care on life support. And of course, they all happen late at night.
am happy to say max is blowing a 350 on his peak flow meter (he was around 270 two days ago, with 400 being normal 200 being dangerously low). we were awake and hanging out at midnight last night, watching boxing and then sportscenter.
molly is hobbling along.
i feel like i am limping along a bit in my spirituality when i question God's hearing my prayers. i felt even silly posting what i did yesterday, but it was in my heart. i try not to pray for specifics, i.e., the lottery winnings or financial gains...i put away those notions long ago. i am not of the mindset that i would even be worthy of such windfall, but take what He gives with much appreciation.
but for the health of my children? i don't think i am asking for much - gosh, i don't even say *good health* or *Lord, make them healthy* -- simply say during the 'your own particular intentions' at daily mass i pray for my husband and our relationship, the health of my children, my family & friends (*known and unknown*) and my employees, customers & business. nothing specific.
maybe i need to get more specific. i know we are to boldly approach the throne of grace in our time of need, and believe me, He knows my need because i am in constant conversation with Him. i just sometimes wonder why all the trials, the leaving one and entering into another more difficult or more profound than the last.
rambling now, sorry.
prayers!
Don't feel silly for posting those thoughts. We ALL have them and I think it's probably good to bounce them off of each other for reassurance. As for praying for specifics ... I guess now that I think of it what I practice is a generally specific prayer (wanting it all, ya know). I will specifically ask for help with something whether it be finances, health, etc. but I will leave it up to God as to how He manages such things. Jesus told us to ask God for anything and to do it as a little child. There is nothing more childlike than asking Daddy for what you want. (We've just gotta deal with it when the answer is no or comes in a different form than we expected ... but that's a whole other issue, eh?). :-)
Every time I pray, I give thanks and praises, but I always ask for specifics. I don't feel guilty about it. I am just glad I think of God, because for so many years I never did :) - Julie M.
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