wanna be friends?

first dance, 6th grade daughter and four of her closest, bestest friends spending the night. i look at these girls, hair done, a little make-up on, trendy old navy and gap attire, chatting behind closed doors, wondering what boys would go and how the night would end up ... can't wait for them to get home so i can hear all about their night and wake up tomorrow to homemade pancakes and bacon, unless the desire to see ian (my busboy) is too overwhelming, then we pile into the explorer in our (read: their) pj's and off to the cafe for breakfast instead...)

gotta love the sleep-0ver. it's every weekend, these girls are like my own, i am getting to know them so well and love them all for their individuality and uniqueness. they are precious, special, and priceless, all at the same time.

remember how easy it was to make friends *back in the day*? i remember many a day spent at the beach, bored to tears and seeing another someone with the same look on their face, and after a quick "wanna play?" off to the waves and digging and giggling and do we have to go now in unison...those days were so easy.

now, as adults, it's so difficult to make friends. yes, it is easy on the internet (truth be told) but in real life? everyone thinks i have this "effusive" personality - i am outgoing and easy to talk to. easy to talk to when it comes to the things of God, yes. but smalltalk? hardly ever. it always goes back to the Lord somehow or about the Word or morals or values. it can never be gossipy or trite. always real.

i don't have many friends. i can actually count them on one hand (you were right, grampa :)

there is a pastor who shepherds the Christian missionary alliance church up the street from our restaurant. he is the type of person when you see, you feel warmth emanating from him. he and his staff come in quite often and he has been bringing his wife the last few visits. in fact, the first time i met her, i forget what we were talking about but he said to her "i know what you are thinking" and she said "you are absolutely right" and what it was is that she would like to be friends with me. was that the sweetest moment or what?

long story longer: we have dinner plans tomorrow night. honestly? i am nervous. can you believe it? i am nervous like, will we have enough to talk about...enough in common...the denomination thing hasn't even come into my mind until i sat here and typed and really thought: gee, i wonder if they drink wine at least? i love a little wine with dinner. it's not imperative, but still.

i am a wreck.

again, i am seeking advice. i know, i know: pray. i will. i will pray and light candles in the morning and let them burn all day. i am excited, almost like it is a first date. i have not made a new friend in years. years.

am i old at 41? i feel it.

now i am rambling. like i said in a thread yesterday: i'll stop here.


4 comments:

Julie M. said...

It is SO hard finding friends now. It seems like when you finally make a good friend, she up and marries someone from Canada and moves away. (Hi Kalanna!)

How I would love to go back to sleepover days. Life was much easier then.

Your dinner date sounds like fun, though. I wouldn't concentrate on purposefully trying to create a new friendship. I think that would put too much pressure on the meeting. Go and have fun. Tell us how it goes! - Julie M.

C. Fish said...

I totally understand how hard it is to make friends and the nervousness that goes along with having someone over. We invited a woman from church over for a visit for Monday afternoon.


I'm not usually very social. This is a big step.

Daughter is going to a sleep over tonight with her friend from youth at church. New Friends abound!

Julie D. said...

I agree with Julie M. (as I so often do!). Try to not think about the "friend" remark. Just remember the warmth of the people and think of the fun of hearing someone's else's ideas about things for the first time. I bet things will go swimmingly and can't wait to hear all about it! What fun!!! :-)

It's funny but I was not good at making friends when young because I was so shy. I'm MUCH better at it now, as Veronica may attest to if she drops by here.

veronica said...

Yes, it is hard to think of you, Julie as shy!
I agree with the difficulty and need to make new friends. As an Air Force brat, I had lots of practice making friends. I hope your date went well, Martha. I am sure that it did. How sweet that the husband pinned her desire to seek you out as a friend immediately. I bet things go great. Let us know!