my thoughts exactly

i was a regular participant (and still am, only on a lesser degree) to various message boards. it was becoming quite apparent as i was either the resident *thread killer* or i had thoughts that nobody felt they could relate to, so they answered in silence.

then i discovered blogging...i just happened upon these thoughts when i was surfing my *regulars* and thought it portrayed just exactly as i felt, only i didn't pen them, bobbie did --

i was voraciously reading this new medium called 'blogs' and my world busted wide open. i found a community of like-minded, challenging, intelligent, honest people who were saying the things i had been thinking and inkling about for years. it's difficult for me to explain, but it was like another dimension was added to my life. like things that were unseen somehow were now seen. i was no longer alone.

each area of my life that i was struggling with, self image, recovery, sexual abuse, addiction, church life, theology and being a woman were being written about on someone else's blog - i was hooked. i grew up thinking that very few of those things would resonate with anyone else, and it is a lonely, silent place to be. although i didn't know those bloggers personally i knew their hearts, and many of them were so much like mine.

i envied their candor, their courage and their medium. i thought that there would be no possible way i could have a voice like their's. it was okay though, at least i wasn't alone any more - it was like breathing clean air for the first time in my life, and really being able to get it all the way into your lungs - big, filling inhales and exhales. it brought much life to my aching soul.
how beautiful was that?

better yet, how right-on?

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