the sound of my husband's alarm awoke me at 4:00 this morning. i had a difficult time going back to sleep, so i laid there, in the pitch black and thought about my day and what it was i needed to accomplish.

i fluffed my goose-down pillow and laid my head back down and started to drift off to sleep, that twilight sleep that is so peaceful and lovely, when i heard it. over there, in the corner, loomed something large and very dark. it was almost imperceptible in the early morning light, but i didn't need to see it -- i sensed its presence, and its presence was pure evil.
the dialogue went as follows and i am not going to use quotation marks for the sake of speed typing. sometimes, stories need to be told as quickly as possible so you have the release prior to healing...

~*~*~*~
good morning, penni.
huh?
i said, good morning.
oh, Lord...whatever. (it was the best polite response i could muster) uh, could you stop talking to me, please?
what are you doing today?
oh please, i am really tired. please let me fall back to sleep...
i want to spend some time with you.
oh, no ... you don't.
yeah. (long pause) i do. (deep, glutteral voice)

(feeling of nausea starting to rise, i was slowly becoming afraid. not simply *afraid,* like "i'm afraid we are out of those shoes," but deep, abiding fear-afraid.)

what is it that you want from me?
i just want to take you for a little walk. we can talk then.
no way...i don't want to walk with you!! i don't wish to do anything with you!!

(panic is no longer slowly setting in - we are in full throttle panic-mode...where is my crucifix? and my holy water? o, Lord, don't abandon me in my time of need...)

just a little *you* and *me* time. that's all i seek.
no. you are evil, i say - EVIL. i cannot go anywhere with you, i can't, i tell you! (as an aside -- where the hell is my husband? there cannot be ANYTHING on television right now that is about the eagles...the unfairness of 24 hour programming...)

then it said something totally dispicable - please remove all children from the viewing area...

i want you on top of me...
o MY LORD AND MY GOD, noooooooooooooooooooo. (i am now so far under the covers you can only hear muffled replies...)
it's easy. i promise you can start gently and we will get faster as we move along...

at this point i pull the blankets over my head. i can't bear the conversation any longer, it is encroaching on obscene.

real easy...no sweat.
oh, i so don't think so - be gone, be GONE! (now i am cursing myself because i never paid enough attention to joyce meyer when she gave instructions on how to bind the enemy...always so busy flipping through the channels when i coulda *learned* something!!)
you'll be great and while you may hurt afterwards, i can assure you, you will be glad we got together............

~*~*~*~

at this point, i bolted upright and saw the sun streaming in through my windows. i focused my gaze over to the corner of the evil that had me ready to run, screaming down the hall when i saw it - the cobwebs started to clear and the gravity of the situation started sinking in.

there, in the corner, it stood majestically: the 585 pro-form treadmill from sears, purchased for a mere $150 because we answered an ad in the paper on tuesday...damn you, bargain box!!

damn you!!