vincent

he walked into my restaurant and although i had never seen him before, i knew he was supposed to work for me. for all i could have thought, he was in to place a take-out order. no, first instinct was correct...

"you need help here? i can do most anything!"
"not right now, but this is the restaurant business - that could change by the end of the day..."
"okay, then. can i fill out an application?"
"sure. as soon as something comes up, i'll call you."

reviewing his application, i saw that he had been a cook, lots of experience, all over the place - some longevity, which is good. however, and it wasn't on his application, i *felt* he was homeless - no, there was an address listed - but it was something i couldn't dismiss because it was as strong in me as the fact he was supposed to work with me.

less than a week later, one of our cooks decided to no call, no show which is, admittedly, typical in the restaurant business. after discussing it with my husband, i called vincent and got the answering machine of a church office. left a message and within the hour, he was back in my cafe.

"you ready now?"

we both just laughed. that was september of 2001.

he was a born-again Christian man, after having seen the error of his ways and his wild former life...had quite a history, which he was reluctant to share for the most part, but every now and again would give you a glimpse into his past and it was mostly mortifying. yes, he was homeless and living with the pastor who took him in up the street after his successful stint at the rescue mission's "work readiness program." there was something very likeable about him, you wanted him to succeed and knew it was not easy for him.

in the time he'd been working for us, he'd do his best to stay clean...then something within him would snap he'd have a relapse and go back into rehab. and then another one, back again. the third one landed him in the hospital in a medically-induced coma, with me holding his hand at his bedside and praying over him. the fourth time he had to *go away* for three months in an effort to save his life - that would have been three years ago this coming march. the 21st, to be exact. we actually *fired* him, but as soon as he came home (and we knew he was back), we approached him to see if he'd be interested in having his job back. we knew he was valuable and worth a try.

since that time, he'd signed up for classes at the community college for addictions counseling (actually, he was my inspiration for attending myself) and had about two months to complete for his certification. he'd done very well at school - a+ student - worked very hard at his homework and i knew it was difficult for him - he had put so many drugs into his system, there had to be some compromise on his learning ability, but he showed us all what he was made of and we were all very proud.

over the last few months, he'd been showing signs of being easily aggravated, withdrawn. said something to me that was disturbing but he was a wild man, he'd sometimes say things to get your attention. i felt uneasy about it and never told the folks he was staying with...i am sorry that i didn't.

that was about two months ago.

last night, we received a call from the pastor. vincent had taken off, but left a note saying they were like family to him, but that by the time they got the note, he'd be out of the state. took some money, left all of his belongings from what they could see.

we are beyond saddened in so many ways about this. crushed for him, that he is this desperate and unable to reach out to anybody, even those he had trusted; because he is fragile, no matter how tough he acted. so lonely. so alone. we had faith in him, loved on him - and not so much as a word to us. so sad.

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...

my husband said it last night that he doesn't think he'll try to take his life, but the way things have played out, we are just praying God keep him safe from harm. he's on a self-destruct.

please pray for vincent with us.