seasons

ecclesiastes 3:

There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

one of my ccd's student's father passed away this week after a protracted battle with cancer. some of my students informed me on monday when i went to pick up molly after school - i was also told her friends were so distraught they had to be taken home for the day. i suppose it's because death has everyone thinking about their own mortality; even more so for a young teenager, their parents' as well...a time to mourn.

i attended the viewing last night and it was almost surrealistic. there was no formal receiving line, and my student and her mother were in the hallway with their friends. no one was near the casket, which was opened. there were mourners sitting in chairs - like a full audience, yet nobody by the casket - maybe it's me, but i thought it odd. i approached *mr. n* and knelt down and prayed for him, prayed for support and strength of his family during this time. he was just kind of *there* like he was an uninvited guest, in an almost detached sort of way. a time to be far from embraces.

i saw my therapist today and had a good chat. she feels as though we should purge the cafe of any of bruce's pictures, hand-written notes, cards, et cetera - that there is a pall cast over the restaurant and it is not going to lift if we choose to stay in it. i think it was one of the better ideas i have heard in recent memory and it works for me. i am not dishonoring bruce by doing this; i am actually honoring us by choosing to go forward and live...a time to build...a time to heal.

simon has a vet appointment at 5:30 today - it would seem his suffering needs to end. he's in congestive heart failure and cannot take more than two or three steps without stopping and resting and has not eaten in days. it is painful to see him like this. i think it is time.

from wisdom 3:1-3:

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace.