anxiety and other such attacks

we are having a barbecue at work - a "downhome" barbecue. it's our fourth one; the third one we had two summers ago was scheduled from 5:00 to 9:00 - had to close at 7:30 because we sold out of food.

by popular demand, even though there are many barbecue joints all around, we are having one (popular demand and a canceled catering job also added into the mix...note to self: take deposits!) this evening.

i can't breathe. i haven't slept in two nights. i've had belly aches. i can't breathe.

so here i am at home, freaking out internally and my husband calls: alli, one of our favorite customers and the reason we don't need to pay for advertising on a radio station, announced on one of the most popular radio stations in south jersey that we were having a barbecue tonight and not only is the food amazing, but "save room for desserts."

i am now officially external in the freak-out. i am the dessert lady.

let's add to that the fact that i am letting one of my busboys wait tables tonight because he leaves for college next saturday and i wanted to give him the chance to make good money -- husband is worried about that, i am not. (not so much?)

our cook got a second part-time job so we were seeking last-minute help and asked our dishwasher (who also helps out by making salads and does a fine job at that) if he wanted to step over to the line and help me put dinners out. after we offered this to him, pastor charlie asked if he could help, which we would have been thrilled to have him behind the line, but it seems that our d/w is able to, but we found out in the mix: he cannot read.

not one bit.

reading dupes is an integral part of working behind the line. you need to know what the people have requested so you can get their dinners plated up.

**sigh**

it's okay, Lord. You have it all well in hand, even my lack of ability to take a deep breath.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God...Philippians 4:6

did i mention i was having my hair lopped off today and going back to red?? (herbie, you reading??)
i am less nervous about that........................