my daughter and i speak in code when we are out in public places shopping. if we see someone getting yelled about by their mother, instead of looking at each other crooked, was simply say "SMA," which stands for "scary mom alert." i've often wondered if this is the sma's good behavior, being out in public, then what must it be like for the family in the privacy of their own homes? i digress.

grocery shopping at a supermarket, even if only for a few items, is a time of prayer for me. i find myself talking to God continously (which is good, which is what we are supposed to do, right??) but today, i found myself on two occasions really seeking His face.

first one was by the chips -- no, not for the *bad carb* reasons you might normally expect the arrow prayer for, but because even 20 feet away, i could hear a mother talking to her children about what potato chips to buy. it went as follows:

"...sour cream and onion."
"he doesn't like sour cream and onion."
"do you like sour cream and onion?"
boy shakes head no.
"well, now see? we aren't going to get these just for you."

i am not judging Lord, but could she have been a bit kinder in her delivery? could she have said "we need to choose something we all will enjoy..." without making the girl feel as though she was so selfish in asking for the sc&o chips to begin with?

Lord, have mercy on me.

then i was in the check-out line and overheard a mom(?) talking to the children that were with her - she was in a motorized cart provided by the store, while this little guy was doing his very best to get all the groceries onto the conveyor belt without dropping anything; there was a baby of about 18 months in the front portion of the cart. the "helper" was apparently failing in the eyes of the adult he was with, who was snapping and barking at him, telling him -- through her teeth -- that "raymond" needed to LISTEN and OBEY her commands and NOT DO IT THAT WAY...

as i was finished with my items and about to leave, i saw the little guy struggling to place the items in the cart that were bagged. i pulled my cart to the side and said "what can i do to help you out here big guy? you are doing such a great job, you must be a wonderful helper at home..." then i looked at the woman and asked if i could help escort her with her things to the car. she said there was someone waiting for them in the car that didn't want to come into the store (editor's note: it was 94 degrees outside; couple that with being parked on blacktop, i am pretty sure there would be great reason to stay outside in the oppression. however, how can you protect the children when you are in the car?)

i said "okay, well, please allow me to arrange your cart - he was doing a pretty good job for a -- raymond, how old are you?"
"seven"
"...seven-year-old. i am a professional grocery cart bagger," i said and leaning closer to the wheelchair-bound lady, whispered, "either that or a really good bullshit artist..." trying to soften the moment.

i had her smile a slight bit at that comment, but then looked up and saw the cashier was looking at her and she snapped "is there a PROBLEM here??"

"here's your receipt."

after she got the receipt, she wheeled herself aside which gave me the opportunity to say to raymond he was "a good helper for his...mom?"

"nope. babysitter."

"you are a smart guy, too - be good and enjoy the rest of your day," i said to all of them. she had gotten up to use the shopping cart for a walker and said she'd be okay from that point. i touched her arm and said "take care."

i got my cart and left without making eye contact with anyone. i was upset because i knew this woman was in a bad way. i knew it but intervened to lessen the situation for the little boy - how can we stand by with all of what we know as being abuse and simply let it continue to happen? how do we intervene for children without being offensive to the adult? the adult isn't in a good way, obviously, so instead of making it worse for her and tell her exactly what i thought about her verbal abuse to a seven-year-old child, i did what i could to help raymond and maybe save face for her.

but i still feel really crappy about it all. as an aside, i actually lost my job at mcdonald's because i screamed at a man for slapping his child across the face for not wanting a burger but for wanting chicken mcnuggets. he had a welt with a handprint on his cheek and i flipped out. i was 16 at the time and that was the first job i got fired from. i've softened my delivery somewhat in retrospect.

how many times, however, have i looked around and pretended not to notice?