need a job?

our cutie, but youngie, dishwasher gave notice two weeks ago that he'd not be able to work for us during the school year, after repeatedly assuring us that he would be able to do so.

dag.

let's see: we're out a cook (since february), no hostess (since susan left) and now, no weekend dishwasher. folks usually don't line up for that job.

we can't afford an ad in the paper so what to do? my sign out front of the restaurant for the last two weeks said:

H E L P !

I NEED SOME BODIES...

and the rest was the basic p/t d/w, hostess, cook, apply within lingo.

to that end, let's go over what we were looking for:

qualifications:

ability: cooks have been walking in off the streets and we have a litmus test for determining their seriousness: bring resume? no f*n way (my husband's word, not mine of course...) a resume indicates a level of serious employment and serious cash to go with that position. maybe even bennies. so if we see the paper with your list of qualifications, and the first question out of your mouth is "what do you pay?" you need not lift a pen to that application, my good man, because you are overqualified to flip our eggs and probably have an ego too large to fit in the tiny space we call a kitchen.

that, and we cannot afford you. in more ways than one.

in walks this dude, sporting some nice earrings (not dangly), goatee, looks like he'd rather read beat poetry and he said he lives down the street, can he have an application for cook? he's currently working at applebees and wants another "part-time gig."

brought his own pen, so there was a level of preparedness. check.
seven bucks an hour, cool with him. check.
is old enough to work a slicer. check.

ifn' ya want it, the job is yours, jack kerouac.

he *snapped* his affirmation and started on thursday.


do we speckle the same lingity? do you speak english? not important to us if you can read english - you can be a cook (you have to read dupes). can't read english? enjoy sudsy water? we have the spot for you, back right-hand corner. grab an apron. most who applied were english speaking citizens, but i enjoy learning how to say naughty words in spanish, so that would've been fine with me ;)

we had someone come in yesterday, 14, great age, nothing doing on the weekends, wants to know can he do our dishes?

oh, but yes you can do our dishes.

oh, and i have a twin brother - he wants to work here, too - can we alternate?

**DING DING DING DING DING **

i do believe in God, i do believe in God. we have hit the motherload.

cook with the bling-bling? hired.

dishwasher with the twin brother? hired & hired.

hostess? ahh, you can't have everything in one shot now, can ya? you can come in and apply, resume is unnecessary, just a sense of humor and ability to run a cash register without taking the *one for you, two for me* bugs bunny approach to collecting money...


~*peace*~