love is as love does

"A Painting a Day - 2005"
Shelley Grund, Fine Artist, Seymour, Wisconsin

it's been a very enlightening week.

my mom has stayed with us since thursday; she is really a sweet soul who is *no trouble at all* but needed a place to hang out while my brother and sister-in-law entertained her brother and wife for a few days. it was really lovely having her.

and painful at the same time. if you come from a dysfunctional family, you'll understand without my even going into details.

we have family events that not everybody comes to because of one person or one reason or another and i came to the conclusion that the love you have for the person who is being honored at a family function has to outweight the dislike you have for anyone else who may be invited.

did that say enough without saying anything at all?

if you let your dislike for a certain anyone rule out your attending a function for a birthday or other significant event - then what you are doing is letting your hate fill you and letting your love go. love must outweigh hate.

very difficult to get across to my not-so-spiritual family, but i have tried for years and will continue to try. you try because that is what love is. love is in the trying.

secondly, we attended the funeral of a man who has been a member of our parish family for ages; he and his wife were to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary this coming january. watching them at mass (daily communicants, as well) was like watching poetry in motion. there is not much they did without the other and they were living, walking, breathing testimony to the sacrament of marriage.

in fact, they have always been a testimony to what a family should be. family was/is everything to these people and in the 13 years we have attended this parish, we first met them because we sat in directly in front of them at Sunday morning mass (when we could go at 9:30 as a family) and molly still remembers mr. p pulling a candy out of his coat pocket and slipping it into her hands when nobody was looking and she was old enough for a piece of peppermint. his daughter told me tonight they went to get his "usher" pin from his jacket and, sure enough when they reached into the pockets of his jacket, they found a handful of hard candies awaiting his next child guest. what a treasure.

tonight i watched his family - all his children, grand children & great grands, and believe me, there were many of them - go up and say their final good-byes. that is always so difficult; he got so many kisses on his forehead...i watched as his bride pulled the blanket up to his chin and kiss him on the lips prior to their turning the casket and closing the lid. all i could think of is "this is what love does."

this was love. all of it. the tears, the hugging, staying for mass, all of it. funerals are not comfortable, they are awkward, words aren't easy, nobody likes *death* but it is what you do when you love.

this is not a faith vs. works segue, but honestly folks, if you love, you can't just give lip service to it. you must do it. it is in your actions. all of it.

it is simply what you do when you love.