thoughts on friendship

Dudognon, Georges - Jean Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir and Friends

we lead a very active life because of the business we are in; we also have pretty crappy hours to try to maintain any sense of a normal social life: when you get up by 4:00 a.m., it is not conducive to nights out with friends, socializing and the like.

i recently bumped into an old friend of mine from high school -- actually, he is an old boyfriend whom i was very fond of but for whatever reason, things simply did not work out (read: i was foolish and broke up with him. he was/is a quality person...) i had not seen him for many, many years and when i ran into him last year for the first time, it was like seeing a brother that i have a great deal of affection for. i had suggested we get together and it never panned out -- i honestly think he and my husband are so much alike, they would truly hit it off.

time passed and we ran into each other again at the beginning of this year at Mass. he and his wife are devout Catholics and who better to surround yourself with than other believers? the problem is, his wife is, uhm, shy? and finds it difficult to be around people she does not know (read: especially former girlfriends). fair enough. but i am unwilling to settle for that.

my husband and i discussed over dinner last night how we could turn this situation around and i thought perhaps reaching out to her and inviting her for lunch might be a good idea, just us girls? or would she think me an odd duck for having done so?

i had posted last year on how difficult it is to make friends at any age, but especially when you are in your 40's. when we were children on the beach, it was always so easy to run up to someone your own height and say "wanna play?" and off you would go for the entire day, fast friends. when we were at dinner last night, the staff was pushing three tables together for a party of 15 - we knew some of the guests and that is when it struck us: we have no real "group" of friends that we go out with. yes, some couples here and there, but no true friends that we can call and say "would you like to come over for cards and/or drinks/dinner/movies?" my heart sunk at this thought.

my husband said "you have friends, i have no friends." in thinking about it, yes, not counting my friends on the internet, i have one *best* friend who i only see on occasion now, but my husband has no one but me. my heart is still so heavy right now -- how could this be? is this the way it is meant to be? he is a wonderful man and so kind, funny (well, he thinks he is funny!!) and i love spending time with him, however..........it should not always be me, should it?

do we not all need companions for the journey or do you find your significant other is enough? i would love to hear your thoughts on friendships and how you maintain yours, how you make and establish new ones, and what you think i should do to build a friendship with my dear friend's wife so we can establish a new friendship as couples now.

thoughts, comments, musings welcomed and needed.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treature. -- Sirach 6:14