miracles really happen

molly & friends at annual *polar bear plunge*
january 1, 2007
photo taken by a parent who was there
thought it was fitting to how i feel right now...

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i didn't want to leave you hanging until the end of the post to share this news, so i thought it would be my title :)

i was told yesterday that mom's MRI came back clean - it doesn't appear that she has anything cancerous in her internal organs and her colonoscopy will be performed when she is stable and cleared by cardiac.

i was also informed that her pulmonologist thought she would eventually end up in an assisted living center on a ventilator the rest of her life, living through a trach tube and being tube fed or trained as to how to eat soft foods. can you imagine her quality of life?

i just said "God, please -- Your will be done."

she had a wonderful nurse named maria who said "i am not going by any numbers with her today, i am going by how i feel here (and she would place her hand on her stomach) - and i think your mom is going to do well on her trial today and will come off of this machine."

i said "from your lips to God's ears!"

she also asked my mom if she prayed and mom shook her head yes and she said, "i need you to pray for a special intention for me tonight -- you pray for me and i'll pray for you!"

her numbers during her trial were not the worst she had so far, and it there was a tiny bit of an improvement. a call was placed to the doctor to see what she wanted to do as far as extubation, and until they received a return call, mom was breathing pretty much on her own through the vent with a little bit of augmentation.

her trial yesterday only lasted 1/2 hour. when i left at 4:30, she had been finished her trial but awaiting the doc's call and it was over 2 1/2 hours. i left feeling hopeful but assured mom if it wasn't going to happen today, definitely tomorrow and we had to think positively and keep praying.

i called at 5:30 - doc still hadn't called - mom still *on her own* since 2:00, 3 1/2 hours.

i left to get max at a friend's, got home and saw the hospital called at 6:10 and the voice mail maria left said "they have a plan for tonight..." i called back and was told she was going to be extubated and i said "i'll be 15 minutes, please wait, i don't want her to be alone for this," and sped back to the hospital...

i arrived, parked illegally, practically ran to mom's room, and she was on nothing but oxygen via a nasal canula and doing a nebulizer treatment!! NO VENTILATOR, NO FEEDING TUBE just peace and calm radiating and a smile on her face!!

thanks be to God!!!

to try to capture any of the emotion would be fruitless. i just sat and held her hand and she whispered she never wanted to go through that again and that it was "hell."

no doubt, dear one.

but man, if this is what heaven is like, it is sweet sweet sweet. i am joyful and my siblings are all beside themselves and grateful to God. i know she has a tough road ahead of her, but she is so tough and so strong that she had us all fooled (except for me, of course :) and i know she is going to be okay, it will just take some time.

if i haven't said it enough, you have ALL been sustaining us through your prayers. please continue steadfast for her recovery and know you are loved and each and every one who has responded by comment or email or you know who you are in silence, i cannot ever thank you enough for interceding on our behalf; you hold an incredibly special place in my exceedingly full heart.

you are all saints of God.