One of the greatest dangers in the spiritual life is self-rejection. When we say, "If people really knew me, they wouldn't love me," we choose the road toward darkness. Often we are made to believe that self-deprecation is a virtue, called humility. But humility is in reality the opposite of self-deprecation. It is the grateful recognition that we are precious in God's eyes and that all we are is pure gift. To grow beyond self-rejection we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God's beloved sons and daughters, and the determination always to live our lives according to this truth.
(emphasis added)
~Henri Nouwen Society
~~~
wow. this is something i have struggled with my entire life. "self-deprecating" is my brand of humor - how can i move beyond that?
i am have breakfast with my sponsor after our meeting saturday morning. i have yet to write out my 4th step, but my history is pretty complete. i am hoping i will see (through someone else's eyes) where my pattern begins and how i can move beyond.
(i am ready for my 4th and 5th step because if i remain where i am, i don't see how i can move beyond)
[after last night, however, i think i have the 10th step nailed down...]
i am ready.
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