One of the greatest dangers in the spiritual life is self-rejection. When we say, "If people really knew me, they wouldn't love me," we choose the road toward darkness. Often we are made to believe that self-deprecation is a virtue, called humility. But humility is in reality the opposite of self-deprecation. It is the grateful recognition that we are precious in God's eyes and that all we are is pure gift. To grow beyond self-rejection we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God's beloved sons and daughters, and the determination always to live our lives according to this truth.
~Henri Nouwen Society
wow. this is something i have struggled with my entire life. "self-deprecating" is my brand of humor - how can i move beyond that?
i am have breakfast with my sponsor after our meeting saturday morning. i have yet to write out my 4th step, but my history is pretty complete. i am hoping i will see (through someone else's eyes) where my pattern begins and how i can move beyond.
(i am ready for my 4th and 5th step because if i remain where i am, i don't see how i can move beyond)
[after last night, however, i think i have the 10th step nailed down...]
i am ready.