On the Threshold of Eternity. In 1890, Vincent van Gogh

apparently the meds i switched over to a while back are not as effective as i would have hoped they would be.

[i am going to see my therapist on monday. just making the appointment made me feel a bit better.]

oh, i realize i have external circumstances pressing in on me. trying to remain sober. trying to feel better about my self. trying to be a good, faithful wife when i simply feel like a roommate. my therapist will help me sort through all of that and if she feels it is a medical issue, i know she will refer me out to have my script changed.

[which i dread, but it would be better than feeling like this.]

i have been in an odd place. depression sucks, people. it is a dark area, one that can be very lonely and isolated. however, since i am in AA, it has taught me i need to go work, attend meetings, talk to people on the telephone. it helps. i guess. if i were left to my own devices, however, i would not leave the house, i would open a big ole bottle of red, turn off the phone, and watch romantic movies.

instead, however, i do the next right thing.

[off to a meeting.]

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