what is it they say about not wanting to attend a meeting?

that you should attend two?

am unsure what my mood is today.  had my son's grad party this weekend and it went well, save for the usual family drama - both sides, not just mine.  good times.  we got our son a car yesterday after dipping into some retirement funds.  now he can obtain a a better job and get back and forth to school safely, that is a good thing.

am out of sorts. recognize that i haven't read my big book in a couple of weeks, even though i have been attending meetings.  haven't called my sponsor since friday.  am in a funk, but don't want to pick up a drink.

attended a meeting at church last night wherein the monsignor pissed me off, and believe it or not, it had to do with our annual church barbecue.  the guys who run the pit and have for years have it down to a science.  they are out there from the early morning hours and finish up by about 4 pm.  they drink beer, apparently a lot of beer, but are away from everyone and are pretty much self-contained in their "art."  the monsignor said he didn't want beer there because it creates a bad element.  in fact -- and this is the part that had me over the moon -- one of the guys said to him last year that this was the only time he "attended church," and that he was glad to be part of our church family.  he was a bit intoxicated when he said that, but it made the monsignor angry because it doesn't make him part of our parish simply because he cooks chicken for us once a year, that we are enabling him and the other beer-drinking-chicken-grillers on that particular day for allowing it to continue.


i said, and i said it quietly, that we may be the only Church this guy has ever had, and if we prevent him from being at the chicken bbq because he is one of those "drinkers," then he may never move himself from the backyard and into a pew.  we may be the only face of Christ they see, and if we show our hospitality by telling them we don't like their "kind" around, we are showing them nothing about being a Christian.


he replied, "this conversation is over"  and then he went on to pontificate more about how we are enabling and that isn't the image we want to portray to the families at a family function.   please know that this pit is about 50 yards from the entrance to the hall and by no means are these men falling down drunk when they are cooking our dinners.

i am still pissed.  i told my husband that this is going to be my last function as a Catholic and he just looked at me and said he was proud of how i handled myself.  in retrospect, i am probably being ridiculous defending someone's right to drink, but i think it is much bigger than that -- i am defending the person who doesn't "present" themselves in the way someone thinks they ought to and will continue to go to bat for those who others find to be the least respectable.   i am guessing we are supposed to defer to the man who sits in church with his family every sunday and looks respectable when in fact, he hates blacks and feels fat people have no right to exist in society.  at least he looks good.


and yes, i know someone EXACTLY like that.



:: sigh ::

i just don't want to participate in  anything right now.