i feel like i have been present but absent at the same time. i have been so distracted and yet, terribly self-focused. yesterday something changed. yes, i migrated two blogs to join this one but that isn't the change i am speaking of. it is as if something has lifted, something indiscernible yet palpable. i was totally focused on my family and it felt like i was home.
this may sound crazy to some, but those who suffer from addictive personalities can understand -- last week, i canceled my membership to an online game site and severed several friendships that were less than holy. it was good to cut it off at the root, it was as though God was saying, "you have transferred your idols...and you wonder why your relationship at home is suffering?" there is no question i had to; yesterday proved how necessary it was.
i had no desire to be online, save for tweaking my blog here (as an aside, i will be further tweaking my blogroll...it's been ages since i have visited most i have listed, so if you are on there and you want to stay, let me know and i'll visit you [if i haven't] to qualify it here)...i visited my dearest friend...i food shopped...i did what felt like 8 loads of wash (and folded and put away)....lit candles for a friend...prayed, journaled, read Scripture....hung out with my husband....made apple crisp.
[and in my true addict fashion, it felt like "more."]
simple stuff, edifying and fulfilling. it felt right and and good and it was so needed. and it is something i think is okay to want more of.
[in abundance....and how ironic that this follows my post, "enough!"]