unclouded thoughts

while molly is sleeping peacefully, i sit and gaze out the window at what i think is an elm tree and a nearby clock tower rising up as the centerpiece of the duPont hospital grounds.

the skies are blue with fat clouds of puffy white with tinged grey undersides, floating by with seemingly no purpose. as grey as our days have been of late, it is quite refreshing to not see a completely overcast sky with no hint of the sun or even a speck of blue.

i also see the helicopter landing pad, not 30 yards away. the first night we were here, there was a helicopter landing right outside of our window - the ER is right underneath molly's floor - with what may have been a trauma. however, most traumas are announced over the PA system and this one was not. i am assuming it was a fancy way of transporting a patient.

i was just sitting here, looking out the window when a mom was carrying a 3 or 4 year old up the sidewalk. i am assuming she was three or four - old enough to wrap her arms and legs around mama's neck and waist. and mama was scurrying up the sidewalk, either because she was in a hurry, or the weight of the child was such that the "carry me?" would have only lasted a minute or two longer due to the strain her baby was putting on her back.

for a brief moment, it reminded me of how molly at 4 years old -- quick, nimble little malinky that she was -- would say "up, please?" and i would happily oblige, scooping her up in one fell swoop and her legs would intuitively encircle my waist and she would simultaneously hug me as tightly as her little arms could squeeze...and we would be as close as a mama and her baby could be after having been weaned...

hot tears sprang to my eyes (as they do again as i put pen to paper) at the sight of this mama and at the memory of my little molly. trying to regain my composure as the memory flooded me took a bit of time. i wonder why God brought it to me in such a rush of emotions. perhaps i just needed to be reminded of things....

[when things were so uncomplicated and simple.]


i feel as though i should have ended this on uplifting note. it is simply me journaling my thoughts, even the bittersweet. i need to be in it, feel it, recall it and release it. thanks.

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