i was invited to a friend's house after work tonight for soup and tea. it seems nice and cozy/comfy on the outside, but my insides are twisted. there's something brewing behind the invite (she sort of alluded to it on the phone last night) and as any good addict would react, i'm allowing it to take up space in my head.
i've taken some positive actions: i've called my sponsor and left a voice mail. i've gone to Mass already this morning, and attended a partial meeting prior to coming to work. i am trying my hardest to concentrate, however difficult it may be.
God, you are my refuge and my strength. whatever lays before me, i can deal with because You are at my center. help me to have ears to hear and a heart of compassion and understanding. perhaps this is coming at me sideways - allow me to see that as well and enable me to love her and myself through it.
(is it God's will for me not to engage or present myself for a round of judgment? sigh. quiet down, head o' mine...)