the more things change, the more they stay the same

good morning, dear ones.

so after experiencing a boatload of "acute withdrawal symptoms," i thought it best to actually see a psychiatrist who can prescribe the right medications (or not) as she saw fit.

and what a fit she's been. she is wonderful and was "there" for me during a time when i had issues with my older son some eons ago, seemingly, and has been wonderful with me as i work through my not-so-simple issues with fear and trembling (but not too much anxiety, ty Prozac).

life gets lifey. some people need blood pressure meds to treat their hypertension or insulin to treat their diabetes. i have a chemical imbalance and suffer from chronic depression and anxiety disorder. i have reached a place of acceptance! some folks are surprised to hear of this because i am seemingly so normal. ha! thing is, i've been treating for these symptoms for some 16 years. i am finally on medication that makes me feel "normal." really normal. it was bad there for a bit, my friends. really bad.

but i'm back. maybe there's been a sea change.

i have a challenge i am helping my middle son (20 1/2 years old) go through, which could set me over the edge on a good day, but i'm okay for now because he needs me and, quite frankly, i'm level because i am properly medicated. i am thinking about starting an off-shoot blog so i can expand on what he is going through, but he also has a blog so i don't know that he wants to remain so anonymous as he's on the internet, himself, being transparent and vulnerable and making his mama proud because he is unafraid to express himself.

so where i think things change, maybe they don't really. however, God is doing a major work on my heart about many things and i will be writing about these things in the very near future. i need an outlet, and am glad my space is still here and i don't have to go resurrect anything.

i can't say whole-heartedly that "life is good." it's getting better, though, and that's good. very good.

9 comments:

Daisy said...

So good to hear, Penni. I've been checking and thinking of you.

Mich

~m2~ said...

mich, tell me how you've been?

i've been underground, but like the occasional mole, have surfaced :) am breathing again, thank God.

Daisy said...

Hey pen,
a little under the ground myself. Hey, still got the same email? I'll give it a go and see if you receive it.

Mich

Heidi Renee said...

so good to hear pen - the cold turkey stuff never worked for me. you have been deep in my thoughts and prayers - much love - and i am here, k?

Abuela Marty said...

Dear Penni,
I have no clue how I found your blog but I've followed for a while now. I've checked often you've been away, and offered a prayer each day your withdrawal post has been up.

Glad you're surfacing, prayers still offered.

~Martha... who also seeks to be more the Mary

msmarymagdalene said...

Hello, M2. Missed you.

M3 ;)

Owen said...

You remain in my thoughts - as ever.

~m2~ said...

oh, my dear friends. i am so glad you are still here <3

spiritualingenue said...

I'm so glad you're back, and that I'm back too... I've been a holy moly, underground and trying to figure out things. All my love to you and prayers too... may we resurface together and chase the Son. <3