i can fall asleep, i just can't stay asleep.
it's Christmas morning - 3:48 a.m. to be exact. my mom died one week ago today and these past 7 days, i have gone through the motions and felt every emotion known to man.
i'll be having a decent line of thinking, and suddenly, it all floods in: "i'll have a dollar cheeseburger, small onion ring, (did mom really die?) and a diet coke."
i am going to assume it is part of the normal when it comes to the grieving process.
[long lay the world, in sin and error pining]
people either want to be present to me or are all confessional because they haven't reached out for me as they don't know what to say. honestly, most times, i am letting the phone ring until voice mail picks and i return calls if you are a verizon customer by hitting "reply" - at&t user? outta luck. sorry. i'm doing the best that i can.
mom's services are tuesday. i am bringing home pictures from my brother's today to go through in preparation. i also need to pen something so i can share at the prayer service. or maybe i'll just speak from my heart?
[fall on your knees. o hear, the angels' voices!!]
i haven't written, it's all welled up in my heart. i do want to share, however, that i spent the night at the hospital friday night, her last night on earth, so when i awoke in the middle of the night (like i did this morning), i could sit at her bedside, talk to her and pray. it was a very special time for me, sacred time. i am blessed and i thank God i had the opportunity to be with her.
[o night divine.]
Posted by ~pen~ at 12/25/2010 04:15:00 AM