i'm beginning to notice how much this feels
like a waking limb...pins and needles
nice to know you
good-bye ... nice to know you... to know you
Oldest Son took me to see incubus (above band) in concert for my mother's day present this year. he listens to a wide varienty of music and this was one of the more *palatable?* bands he listened to and i was say "Oldest Son, i like that song - who is it?" and it was incubus, so we went.
you know that expression "if it's too loud, you're too old?"
**but it sure smelled good there, took me back to a place long ago when the only thing i worried about (pre-Christ-knowing) was where my stash was. simpler days, to be sure, but i digress.**
he woke me up last night at 1:20 a.m. to tell me he found out yesterday afternoon, Former Girlfriend (remember, the gal he spent the afternoon with sunday? yeah, that one...) had slept with this other boy five days post break-up with him, not simply kissed. he is crushed. he is defeated. he said "i know this is going to upset you ma, but i just want to die. she has destroyed me."
in his fragility, i am aware i must be very vigilant in keeping an eye on him; he was shaking like a leaf and i don't know if it was lack of sleep, lack of food since lunchtime, pure emotion and adrenaline? or medication... unsure, but please, please pray for my boy. i told him last night a lot of this is spiritual warfare and the closer he tries to get to God, the more the devil is going to try to prevent it, to take him off the path. the fact that all of this came to light so quickly after their initial problems first started is actually a benefit, even though i am pretty darn happy he didn't find this all out at once. i can't even imagine.
he's beginning to notice how much this feels like a waking limb...pins and needles ...
i hope he finally realizes it's time for "good-bye."