if it weren't for Christians, i'd be a Christian

i know people read our thoughts here in blogville and to me, i don't give a hoot if i am being scrutinized or have any kind of reputation to uphold. i need not only to worry about my words and deeds, but about how i treat others who may not agree 100% with what i am trying to impart. being tolerant of someone else's views doesn't mean i am signing off on what they do or believe; arguing about Jesus doesn't make atheists believe things about the Lord any more or any less --- some people engage in battle simply because they like seeing Christians get pissed off - that way, they can say snide things like "oh, niiice. and you call yourself a Christian?? and some Christians are quite easily pissed off (in my humble opinion...) my concern is not really how i am perceived or what people's opinions are of me, aside from a select few - but i speak it like i feel it, at least in here. my main concern is: am i showing folks by my actions Jesus?

take tonight for instance. husband and i went out to celebrate our 5 year anniversary from work and we are getting ready to leave and who walks through the front door of the restaurant? you know, the girl who just shredded my son's heart into a bazillion pieces. husband said "let's go --- or do you want to go talk to her?" i said "i want to go see her." so i followed out to the dining room where i thought the maitre d' took them and peeked around the corner. her face -- oh, her pretty face -- was relieved, scared, embarrassed, so much at one time, and i approached her, and opened my arms so i could hug her. she just whispered "thank you, so much." we talked for about two minutes (she works part time for a photographer and it was a wedding party they were awaiting) and i said "old girlfriend, you are still part of my family. you are welcome in my home, always. please - you have been with us for two years. i understand you don't want a boyfriend, you have a lot going on. it's okay...however, it wasn't that i didn't want to see you, it's that i couldn't right away. oldest son was broken - very very broken - and i needed to attend to his needs first and foremost. but i love you, still." she was blown away. i am hoping i showed her Jesus because if you talked to "martha martha," she would have wanted to strangle her a few days ago. but what was i going to do? make her feel badly? nope.

what is our response to calvary? i pray every day to see Jesus in the eyes of everyone i meet, and have them see Him (please God) through me. i fall very short of the goal on many occasions, but what has been hitting me more and more is that we need love. pure and simple.

"if it weren't for Christians, i'd be a Christian." (mahatma ghandi)

i don't want to be the reason someone else would say that.

ever.