"it's okay, it's okay, it's okay"

this is the phrase being repeated over and again by one of the secretaries to me today because one of the other ones is making me crazy.

seriously crazy.

Lord have mercy on me.

talk about arrow prayers going up, fast and furious. i feel like an archer.

bless her bless her bless her.

mercy.

~*~*~*~*~

you know i will be the first to admit when i have acted like, for lack of a better term, an asshole. i am here to tell you i behaved thusly today.

it was a slow day on labor & delivery. i did as much busy work as i could and let things get to me that really would not have on a good day. i was feeling pretty crappy about my attitude and decided i needed to take a few minutes to regroup and pulled out my caryll houselander book, "essential writings." in pertinent part:

Nothing helps me more to love other people than doing penance for them. If it is an individual for whom I have any bitterness it is a sure cure, but since I took to praying and offering penance daily for all sinners I have found my love of people growing in proportion. It is not according to how much penance I do or how many prayers I say, but how much love I put into it.

it would seem to me after i read the above if i had really taken a few minutes to steal away to pray for her in earnest, my day with her would not have gone so badly. after i had this moment of clarity and made a sincere confession to God about my behavior, i decided instead of kicking against the goads with this woman that i would try and listen attentively to what her day was truly like....one of her children was home sick; i also learned that she is a single parent and has been for 11 years and is working her way through school to support her girls....the list goes on from there and by the time i had finished talking with her, i felt totally ashamed of myself for this post and my ensuing comments and felt it best to come clean and let you know just how much of an ass your blog hostess really is.

mea culpa.