Point of Origin

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

My husband suggested we attend Mass this morning at another Catholic church in the area - one of our former servers is a cantor and he wanted to hear her sing; I have had the pleasure of hearing her before, she is angelic. Unfortunately, she was not the cantor this morning, but we were not disappointed: the young man who sang this morning was wonderful and the Mass was really incredible on so many levels.

As soon as we walked in, we were thrilled to see the priest who welcomed me into the faith 11 years ago...he was happy to see us, too. He is now senior pastor at that parish and he said "Penni, you will walk in and see how things used to look at St. Bernadette's!" He was right - he had quite a flair and loves the liturgy. I said "Oh, Father -- things have been so different...you have no idea." He nodded his head and said "You are welcomed here. Any time. All the time..." and I smiled and squeezed my husband's hand as we walked in, knelt and took our places.

I love Palm Sunday service because it marks the beginning of the holiest week on the calendar. I get so much more excited about this week than any other; it is so full. Before Mass began, I gave much thought as to how I spent my Lenten season this year and it has been like none preceding. Admittedly, I have not been as faithful as I have in the past by attending Mass every single day, but I have been stilled and quieted and have conversed more with the Lord these past 33 days than I can ever recall. I have been looking for God in different churches, different worship services, and different directions. I feel Him "here" and "there," but had never really felt "settled" in the other churches I attended; I am ready to settle in again. Be still, my soul.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

God has taken me, used me, molded me, shaped me and I am sure, is no where near finished with me yet. The readings from Mass today were exceptionally poignant and I never find myself chiming in with the crowd at the point in the Gospel where they shout "Crucify Him!" I always get choked up and tremendously sad at that point and wonder if I would have been among the crowd shouting or among the women who were moaning and lamenting when He was carrying His cross...I know in my lifetime, I have been both and yet He, being the faithful God that He is, stays right where I can find Him, immobile, my Center.

We left the church in silence as instructed and as we sat in the car, I said "that is the first time in so very long that I can recall leaving Mass feeling 'full.' How incredible the whole experience."

How incredible, indeed, that I may end up where I started...

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

Poetry excerpts taken from "A Valediction Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne