why I remain a Catholic

1493-96
Sandstone with partial painting
St. Lorenz, Nuremberg

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As my gentle readers know, I attended the Ordination to the Deaconate last weekend, but what I have yet to share is my dear Monsignor (who was my Confessor for the last 10 years) passed away last weekend and his Masses were held Wednesday night and Thursday morning - Wednesday night was the Mass of Jesus Christ, the High Priest and Thursday, his funeral Mass. I attended Wednesday night's service and the feelings I had while being there haven't left me yet.

There were many, many priests in attendance and the homily was wonderful and the incense was amazing. I left there realizing that I am a sensual girl in that I love the high Masses. I have been to one Latin Mass, at Washington DC at the church of the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle where President Kennedy was buried from and actually loved every minute of it, regardless of how much I understood. I have attended Masses for Ordination and funeral services for Priests and laity alike; baptisms, weddings, Confirmations. The Easter Vigil is a Mass like no other and is a Mass I will never miss (as the Lord wills it, right?)

The sounds of a sublime choir, the smell of the incense rising along with our prayers, the incantation of the psalms and the Gospel, the reception of the Eucharist -- it is transcendent and sacramental and sacred to me, regardless of the differences I have with my Church and the faith I have been working out and through in fear and trembling. The art and the ancient writings also add to my senses, as well as the line of Apostolic teaching encourages me to stay Catholic.

All of these reasons, and the fact that I have, throughout the past two years, asked time and again (while I am in prayer and while I am not) if I am to leave the Catholic Church and the answers has been a "No," resoundingly, each and every time -- who am I to argue with that?

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