new blog, first post

the title should explain a lot, and even if it doesn't at the outset, it will eventually.

i have been on anti-anxiety medications for many years now due to panic attacks and depression. i have tried on one other occasion to withdraw and it was difficult, but i did it. however, my panic attacks and depression returned with a vengeance so i restarted and actually went from 20mg Paxil per day to eventually 40mg.

this latest withdrawal has been from the 40mg and it has been ugly.

in an effort to direct mental health-type traffic over to one specific place, i have decided to forego posting about this on my martha, martha blog and am in the process of transferring all of the darkness over to here, to keep things separate.

thus, my first post. all the other posts that were actually published over at m2 are all wonky and out of sequence. just like my life -- if i can deal, so can you :)

those who have visited with me over at m2 will recognize some of these thoughts already, and if you are new to my neurosis, welcome. say hi in the combox and let me know you are here...i need all the help i can get.


1 comment:

Steve F. said...

Holy...capoley, Penni. I'd missed this entirely....obviously, I caught the general subject of your more recent posts, but wanted to back down here and pick up some of the history.

I have known a number of people who struggled with panic attacks, including a couple of former sponsees. As younger (20-and-30 somethings) guys, they went on Paxil to stop the panic attacks; then the sexual side effects started, and no 20-something guy puts up with impotence for long! So the first time a girlfriend comes along, it's off the Paxil, and the depression and panic attacks come back, and they're back in the toilet.

I don't know why you want to withdraw from Paxil - I don't know if girls get the same side effects guys get, for instance - but it can be a real challenge. So, before I dispense any unsolicited advice, I'm gonna do some more reading.

I'm glad you trusted me enough to point me over here - dealing with minds that are dented and broken can be a HUGE challenge. I appreciate that trust more than you know, sister.