homework

i think i found my home group, which i understand is important to have so you can become more interconnected with the members and be of service to others. i am comfortable with the people in this particular group and think i am going to take the next step next week and approach someone after the meeting.

y'all know i am all about service :)

i arrived on time, but the meeting was packed and i am guessing it is because it is the weekend before NY's Eve. i don't think i will have a problem with NYE because i have never been one (in my adult years anyway) to utilize it as a time to get wasted. shit, i had all the other weekends preceding it to do so...why not wake up without a hangover on NY's Day and be different than all the rest?

big ole heaping dose of pride.

my sponsor saved me a seat which was great because -- did i mention this? -- i knit during the meetings. i kid you not, my needles fly the entire time, i think i average about 9 rows an hour, which is pretty amazing as i really started this blanket in earnest when i decided to become sober 3 (almost 4!!) weeks ago. if you know me from m2, you know i take forever to complete something. there is sobriety in this blanket that i will be finishing probably by next week. and yes, the baby will be quite spoiled as i intend to start another one once this is finished.

back to my sponsor -- she has told me what she requires of me:

• check in daily. even if it's only a quick *hello*
• read from the Big Book daily
• start writing out my drinking history

the first two, i was okay; the last one? not so much. it is that whole Step 4 - fearless inventory thing that has me shaking in my shoes. i knew it was coming, but i also knew that God wouldn't bring me to it without bringing me through it. ugliness on paper, searching and fearless.

i have plans to take molly out today, just the two of us, but i am going to get this started this evening.

fearless and searching. (ouch already...)