i made a telephone call today and go to my first meeting tonight, which is "open" and a "step meeting."
the lady i spoke with on the phone sounded really nice and supportive; thank God she was because i could not imagine calling the number i called and getting someone without an ounce of desire to be on the other end of the phone. she is probably a godsend to many, i know she was to me. so much so that she gave me her home telephone number and said i could call her, any time.
i am stepping out of my comfort zone tonight at about 6:45 p.m. i am going to obtain information and will sit and listen and from what "debbie" said today, get my first "chip."
i just want to get well.
milestone for today: i was given a gift of a bottle of chardonnay. one of my favorites. and when the *benefactor* left the building, i turned and gave it to my co-worker. it was painful, but i cannot have it in my home.
there ya go.
how brilliant would it all be if i could get to a place where i would never have to take anything for anxiety or depression again? but i am digressing or projecting (one or the other). just for today, i want to be well. i want to know why i am prone to gravitating toward that which is so freaking pleasurable at first, but then can slowly, chronically, and progressively be out to get me for good.
so much for my anonymity here -- will keep y'all posted.