The Still, Small Voice [of Love]

Emmy White
Song of Solomon


Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, "Prove that you are a good person." Another voice says, "You'd better be ashamed of yourself." There also is a voice that says, "Nobody really cares about you," and one that says, "Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful." But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, "You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you." That's the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen.

That's what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us "my Beloved."

~Henri Nouwen Society


Confession: part of my issue is that i desire this type of romancing. a voice to call me "my Beloved," to think of me as though i am the bride in the Song of Solomon. i have always been sort of ... a bit of a ... hopelessly romantic by nature, always looking for someone, something to sweep me off my feet. not only did i find it in my wine, but in the effect it had on men in particular after i drank it.

(inner voice: sweetie, they didn't feel "romance." /inner voice)

being a Christian for the better part of my life, and one who adores Scripture, of course it would only be natural for me to incredibly drawn to verses that stated:

good Lord, who wouldn't be?

although this is some pretty sweet Scripture, if it is taken out of context (as with anything biblical, actually) to suit my needs, you could see where i'd be totally tangential and desirous of anything that was like the best wine for my beloved. keeping things in focus, which things were not in focus during my drinking days, is key for me so i am not swept up into thinking the lies that are swimming around in my head are actual truths.

romance is not found in a bottle. prescription, liquor, or otherwise. and while it may be found with another soul on the same journey, if he ain't meant for you and you ain't meant for him, that's a bit skewed as well.

but the God of my understanding? oh, He loves me. i am finally *getting* that, and can attest it is only through prayer and meditation that i am. i am getting these sonnets in the Scripture that are meant for me, how God loves me with all of His heart and desires only me (and you, i suppose, if you want to read it that way...) i love the writings of these ancient saints that tell me that God is for me, and not against me.

that's my cue to finish typing and go see what My God has to say to me...

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