these are thoughts i have journaled over the past few days. computer access is limited, but i try to check in twice daily.


i find myself in duPont hospital for children awaiting the surgeon's call to bring Molly to the operating room.  Some 7 1/2 months ago, she had her spinal surgery and part of her incision continued to "weep" until the skin was healed over. in fact, we made an additional "early" trip to delaware to have the doctor take a look and we were assured all was well. 

apparently not.

seemingly, over the past fee months, something's been brewing beneath the surface; tests have revealed a fluid filled picket that needs a gigantic needle and a steading hand to drain.  however, instead of aspirating (as per the norm), because of her spinal fusion and the pocket's proximity to her spine/hardware, it is not to be trifled with.  so today, after he surgeon is finished with a case, she will be wheeled back to the operating room for something as simple as a "clean up" or as complicated as i don't know what - eventually *exchanging* rods and screws?  i shudder to think.

throughout all of this, i must say i have prayed more than i ever have before, tearfully beseeching the Creator of the Universe to place His blessing upon the hands of the surgeon and Molly's caregivers...not asking "why," but asking for His presence throughout this whole ordeal...waivering right over from being righteous to being a little bit pissed, and asking "why now?  why Molly?  why at this time??"  then i retract, apologize, and realize He is God - omnipotent and omniscient - and is all Good; all things work together for good, i believe that.

i am hoping trusting this to be so.

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