when you struggle with *issues* (oh, don't act as if you don't), when you don't have that outlet to ease things a bit, you have to sit with the feelings. i hate my feelings and i love my feelings. i have felt the highest highs one can feel while sober and the lowest lows. i have wonderful friends who i turn to now that help me when i desire nothing more than to isolate; i force myself to attend events i would rather not because i "must," but afterward, am glad i did.
i have been reading wonderful books that have helped my spirits lift immensely - i read a wide range of spiritual books because when i am in the deepest of lows, i find there are certain thoughts and meditations that help me step out of myself...i mostly like to read books where i am reminded i am loved. (is that not crazy? do people not exhibit how loved i am all the time?) in my defense: we all need reminders and i am no exception.
i just finished reading a little classic (i think so, anyway) that is entitled The Greatest Thing in the World, by Henry Drummond. i believe it was penned in 1884 and it speaks on 1 Corinthians. wonderful, wonderful little nugget of a book, breezed through it in a day, am now going back with my highlighter and pen to *own* it. i would highly recommend it to anyone, anywhere, who would like a gentle reminder of how it is meant to be vs. how it appears to be at the present time.
this book helped immensely to bring me up and out of myself. it was a gift from a friend who is kind and generous and shows me love on many levels. it was given to me because he thought i would *get* it, but what he didn't know is how dearly and desparately i needed it to show me the gentler way, to guide me out of my deepest dark, to enable me to take a fresher view on those things that matter most when i couldn't see through my cobwebs and the darkness of where i was. it was a tiny flashlight into my [now enlarged] heart.
and it's all about love.
[love is all you need]
(what are you waiting for? go get a copy!)
"There is no other reason why we should live on
than that we love and are beloved."