extremes

there has been an intermittent conversation in the last thread of comments between me and another blogger regarding her son's and my paxil withdrawal symptoms (or per my drug manufacturer, "discontinuation syndrome") (what was that phrase by Shakespeare? a rose by any other name?) and Gabrielle so kindly stated:
Just minutes before reading JW's comment and your own re "jolts and zaps", I watched a YouTube about Paxil withdrawal. Just terrible. I had been under the impression that as you reduced your intake, and were feeling badly, it was because your anxiety was kicking back in and triggering terrible symptoms. But it's actually Paxil withdrawal symptoms, isn't it.
yup. and it isn't pretty. i confided in my doctor (and you, dear readers) that i didn't feel it was being as *effective* as it once was and was suffering other side effects from the medication itself, so instead of increasing it, he wanted to switch me up. no, it isn't my anxiety returning but honestly, how could it not since i feel like i am floating one minute and being internally electrocuted the next? just this morning, after an exhausting night of continuous nightmares and images in can't readily shake from my mind, i could feel my frustration level mounting as i tried to put on a necklace for work, it eased a bit, then i realized i left my coffee upstairs and burst into tears. extreme emotions, and i am not even close to ready to discuss work yesterday.

however, i feel as if i have a bit of hope shining in the distance because i know i will be taking something as of monday that will start to level me out again. (Lord willing i make it til monday....) conversely, i am now reading about Effexor and the side-effects/withdrawal symptoms and am now wondering what to do. i don't want to experience this again, but my history of panic attacks and depression is significant (and if my sisters or brothers are reading this, sorry i've never shared it all with you, pumpkins -- it's just one of those *dark* things my family doesn't know entirely about because you wouldn't want to...) and i am uncertain if i could travel that road again, either.

in the meantime, since i have now visited YouTube and found if not the same article Gabrielle was talking about, one that may offer clarity, below, to those of you interested enough to learn more, satisfy your curiosity, or not. i watched this one by ABC News and clicked on a couple other home vids to confirm i am not losing my mind.

i think.

No comments: